Funny Comebacks

40: Dirty Jokes

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- What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.

- I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.

- If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs.

- Three words to ruin a guy's ego: "Is it in?"

- One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus: "Please send me a sister." Santa Claus wrote back: "Send me your mother."

- The only reason the term, 'ladies first' was invented was so that the man could check out the woman's ass.

- You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.

- What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married.

- There are 8 planets in the universe, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus.

- You're like my pinky toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.