Funny Comebacks

8: Dirty Jokes

Chapter 8: Dirty Jokes

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1) What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neaintly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

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2) My dad saw me swatting a honey bee, so he says, "For that, no honey for a month." The next day, he sees me killing a butterfly. He says, "For that, no butter for a month." The next say, he sees my mom kill a cockroach, so I say, "Dad you want to tell her, or should I?"

〜

3) Me: Say I am a man after everything I say.

Friend: alright.

Me: you broke up with your girlfriend.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: you decided to get drunk.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: you went to the bar.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: you found a hot chick there.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: you invited her to your house and she said yes.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: you both came into your room and had sex.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: next morning you wake up.

Friend: I am a man.

Me: and she says...

Friend: I am a man.

〜

4) Next time you're having sex with your significant other, stop right in the middle of it. When she asks what she is doing say, "Shh, I saw this in a porno once, it's called buffering."

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5) Easy way to tell if she wants it. Text her and say, "wanna bang?" Wait for a reply and if she gets mad just say, "my bad, it was supposed to say hang."

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6) Son: Mom I got suspended from school today.

Mom: why?!!

Son: it was pajama day at school today.

Mom: so?!!?

Me: I sleep naked.

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7) I think "dildo" is an acceptable insult. Like, you're a dick, but you're not real enough.

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8) Girls are just like math problems, if their under 18, it's best if you do them in your head.

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9) *Two hookers walking down the street*

Hooker 1: "Do you smell dick?"

Hooker 2: "Sorry, I burped."

〜

10) When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he stands next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice.

〜

MFDJ(my favorite dirty joke): #2, #3, #7

SOTD: Why by Shy Glizzy.

QOTD: iPhone or Android?

AOTD: iPhone all the way. I actually tried android and I absolutely hated it. Idk why but I've always liked iPhones, even when I didn't even have one.

Thanks for reading!

- Yana x.

STAY BOOTIFUL