Funny Comebacks

28: Funny Texts

Chapter 28: Funny Texts

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1) Mother

mother: You know that song you like?

me: which one

mother: Sexy and you know it

me: ya

mother: Well here's one for you.

I walk in your room, and this is what I see, there's a condom on the floor and it's staring at me. I have a rage in my stomach and I'm not afraid to show it, show it, show it.... You're grounded and you know it.

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2) DarthVader

DarthVader: Luke, I am your father.

me: Seriously? That joke's old. -_- Btw, who is this? Someone hacked into my phone and changed all the names.

DarthVader: No, seriously. I'm your father. Your mom wants you to come home.

me: Did you just seriously hack into my phone just to change your contact name to 'darth vader' to say that?

Darthvader: Yeah.

me: Sometimes I hate my name.

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3) Batman

me: Who are you?

me: Someone changed all of my contacts.

Batman: What did they change my name to?

me: Batman.

Batman: DON'T CHANGE IT BACK

me: But who are you?

Batman: Im batman.

Batman: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

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4) Dog

Dog: BORED. Let's play a game.

me: OK. I'll say a word, Then you say the first word that comes into your head.

me: BALL

Dog: WHERE?

me: CAR

Dog: WHERE'S THE BALL?

me: CHAIR

Dog: WHERE'S THE BALL ASSHOLE?

me: Forget it

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5) Kacy

me: baby are you jealous?

Kacy: No.

me: baby are you jealous?

Kacy: No.

me: baby are you jealous?

Kacy: I already told you, no.

me: baby can i get a kiss?

Kacy: GO GET A KISS FROM THAT UGLY GIRL THAT LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!

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6) Mom

me: mom did you buy cream cheese?

Mom: Yes

me: and crackers?

Mom: No, I guess we r crackalacking

me: Mom stop

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7) Dog

Dog: Do you think I could be a police dog?

me: No

me: I don't think you've got the nerve for it.

Dog: WTF? My nerves are made of steel.

me: Dude, you jump at the sound of YOUR OWN FARTS.

Dog: THEY SNEAK UP ON ME

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8) Josh

Josh: woof woof

me: meow meow

Josh: squeak squeak

me: 'turtle sound, turtle sound'

Josh: wtf

me: what sound does a turle make then?????

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9) Dad

Dad: Hi amy. I don't miss you at all.

me: gee, thanks dad.

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10) Mom

Mom: good morning beautiful. :) xoxoxo imaginary boyfriend.

me: thanks mom...

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QOTD: Enjoy life today, because yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is never promised.

Thanks for reading!

- Yana x.

STAY BOOTIFUL

p.s; yesterday was my birthday :)