FLIGHTLESS (LOKI LAUFEYSON FANFIC)

LOKI'S JOURNAL (1)

Entry No. 1

The Allfather had hosted a ball for the sake of my 'birthday'. But I knew it wasn't my birthday, it was just the day he had found me when he attacked Jotunheim. I stopped calling Odin my father when I found out I was a bastard.

"Loki, you look deep in thought," mother said. She was gently combing my hair, her hands going through the strands smoothly.

"I don't want to go," I confessed. I lied most of the time, but to this woman I could never. She read me like a story she had written herself. In short, she knew me so well- like a mother would her real son.

"But a ball dedicated to you would be pointless without... well, you," she said with a small giggle.

"Everyone knows I'm not a prince, why bother?" I ruffled my hair in annoyance.

"Hush, now. You don't say that. Am I not your mother?" she asked, doing my hair all over again.

"Technically, no. But... you are my mother." I sighed.

"And am I not queen of Asgard?"

"You are," another sigh escaped me. I see where she was going with this.

"Then you are my son, and that makes you no less of a prince than Thor." She set down the comb and spun me around to face her.

"Fine, I'll go, but only because you want me to." I begrudgingly said.

"That's my boy," she endearingly kissed my forehead.

"I'm not a kid anymore, I'm turning 118 today," I complained, embarassed. But I loved the gesture nonetheless.

"Oh, hush it. Teenagers are just tall kids. And besides, you'll always be my sweet baby." she smiled and stood, left me to go get dressed on my own.

***

I entered the hall and everyone fell silent. There it was again, the whispers. 'Bastard, jotun, fake prince'.

Look at the lot of you, propped up comfily on your high horses. Gossiping pathetically to wile away the feeling of worthlessness that's eating you alive.

Shaking my head, I tried to get rid of my thoughts. There has always been a side of me, a dark side, that lurked somewhere in my brain. I wanted to be a good person, mind and deed, but sometimes my mind would falter and betray me, whispering thoughts of malice and spite.

"My son, there you are," Odin greeted, Thor standing beside him. "Meet Gerda, one of our finest valkyries. Her daughter will be joining you and Thor tomorrow during training."

"Pleased to meet you, Lady Gerda, I'm looking forward to training with your daughter," I said putting on my fakest smile.

In truth, I didn't care. This was all just politics to Odin, not a real celebration of me. Thor stood there excitedly talking to Gerda about valkyries.

"Where is Lady Ella?" Thor had asked.

"She just arrived tonight, she requested to rest because she wants to do well at training tomorrow," Gerda explained. "I hope you don't mind, my prince."

I panicked when she looked at me. People rarely called me a prince. "I'm not a prince. And no, if the lady wishes to rest, she must rest."

"You're a fine gentleman," Gerda said which, again, caught me by surprise. I didn't know if she was being kind or she didn't really know I was a bastard.

After exchanging a few words with Gerda, I went to an unused balcony and just breathed in the fresh air. I sneaked out of the party eventually, I couldn't help it. No one would miss me anyway.

When I got out, I went to the bifrost. Its colors were brighter in the dark of night. Heimdall knew I was there, he knows I would sneak up to here all the time but would thankfully turn a blind eye.

I walked to lay down on my usual spot, just right in the middle, where I could look up and see the vastness of the universe. To my dismay someone was already lying there. Disappointed, I approached the person.

"Excuse me, you're on my spot," I said. I was shocked to find she was actually a girl my age, and a valkyrie nonetheless. Someone lied about wanting to rest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," she said getting up, her white dress dancing with the wind. Her blonde hair matched her mother's.

"Well, you might as well stay, it's not like I own the bifrost anyway," I replied dryly and was about to leave her be.

"Wait," she ran and caught up to me, "We can just share the bifrost, it's wide enough for the both of us. I'll stay as far away as possible, I promise."

I couldn't help but smile. She was either brave or stupid to approach me, a complete stranger, so nonchalantly. It was amusing.

"Fair enough, you take that side and I take this side," I agreed, my hand gesturing to which sides we were going to take.

She gave me a smile and happily settled herself on her end of the bifrost. I did the same.

"I'm supposed to be at a ball tonight," she confessed. Like I care.

"Whose ball?" I asked, testing how she would react.

"Prince Loki's. I haven't met him before." she said. Her answer was too safe.

"What do you think he's like?" I pried again.

"My mom said he was taken here to Asgard when he was a baby, that he was originally son of Laufey from Jotunheim." I flinched at her words but it wasn't enough for me to judge her. What she had stated were facts after all, and she said them without the usual judgement and disgust that accompanied my story.

I was about to ask again when she spoke.

"I think he's strong." I was silent, I didn't know how to react to those words. No one has ever called me that.

"Why?"

"It takes courage to stay in a place that seems so... foreign. Imagine living somewhere your whole life and still feel like you're meant to be somewhere else. He survived here, for 118 years now, to be exact. That's strength." she said gently then stood up.

I didn't even notice how I had started crying. She was the second person to ever give me such a sincere compliment. Mother used to be the only one.

She approached me and sat next to me. I immediately stood up.

"Just... stay away. You promised to stay on your side."

And I left her there.