Kidnapped -Drarry

Chapter eighteen: I must not tell lies.

TW: Umbridge, mentions of abuse and SH, depressing thoughts.

(First person)

Great. I was sitting in a very pink room with pictures of cats everywhere. 'Why are you sitting in a pink room Harry?' one might ask. Well I'm in whats supposed to be detention. 'How did you get a detention Harry?' Well its funny you ask.
See, I was in Defense Against the Dart Arts class with Professor Umbridge, as was the rest of my class, when the professor said "wands away!"

Now, in DADA we are supposed to learn how to defend ourselves. So when the mean lady Umbridge said that all we'd be doing in class was read I got a little frustrated, as did the rest of my class.
So a couple people gave her cheek, and maybe one of the 'couple people' was me, but she deserved it.

Questions were asked, one of them was, "what if we're attacked?"
Professor Pink-Toad had the nerve to say "I don't plan on anyone in my class being attacked."
Now, of course. No one sane would plan on their students being attacked put that doesn't mean it doesn't happen anyway. As I was explaining this to her in a way one would when talking to a three year old she had the audacity to say, with a smug look on her stupid face, "and who exactly would be attacking you?"
Which I easily responded, "Voldemort."

Apparently she didn't like that answer and we got into a fight about weather or not voldy was back, she sent me to Professor McGonagall, who gave me a biscuit, and now I'm here.

I just sat there awkwardly in silence for a while. Finally, after about ten minutes, she cleared her throat and said, "hem hem, you will be doing lines."

I opened my bag and started to get paper and a quill out when she stopped me.
"Stop that. I have a special quill for you right here." She had a smirk plastered on her face like she'd just won something. I didn't trust it.
I put my quill away and silently grabbed the one she offered.

"Wheres the ink?" I asked like she was the stupidest person for not giving me ink as well.

"No need for ink, just write"
She turned around and sat at her desk will a smug look on her face.

I simply stared at her.

"What are you waiting for boy? Write!"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes, "what would you like me to what Professor?" I asked in a fake sweet tone.

She sent a glare at me,
"You will write 'I must not tell lies' on your paper." She smiled evilly and I had a bad feeling settling into my gut.

I looked at her and didn't even try to hide my annoyance, "how many times?"

I regretted asking that question as soon as a monstrous look appeared on her face. It look as if she found ten million pieces if gold, as if no one could outrank her, as if she thought no one could overpower her, and I hated it. I thought her smile couldn't get more cruel than it was merely two minutes ago, obviously I was wrong. Her expression switched to triumph as she tilted her nose to the ceiling and muttered, "until it sinks in."

This time I didn't even try to prevent myself from rolling my eyes. How was I supposed to know when to stop?

I started writing 'I must not tell lies' down on me paper. I scoffed as I saw red ink seep out of the provided quill. I repeated my lines twice more until a sharp pain pierced the skin on the back of my hand. I look at it and let out a horrified gasp. On the back of my hand were the words 'I must not tell lies' in my handwriting. They were carved into my skin.

This isn't the first time I've had words carved into my own body, but this was the first time I've ever done it to myself, unknowingly or not. It brought back a lot of bad memories I had tried so had to forget.

I looked up at Umbitch with pure hatred and venom coursing through my veins.

"You Toad." I snarled out.

She made a gesture, swinging her hand through the air like she was royalty. "Oh no, thats a blood quill." She said in a mocking tone. "It a shame you have to sit here and write with your own blood until it sinks in." She smiled.

Who does she think she is? The queen?
"Tch." I stood up.

"Where do you think your going Potter?! Sit. Down."

Did she really think I was going to accept this? She's even dummer than she looks... perhaps dummer than Diddykins.

"No."

"No?" She asked face forming into that of pure rage. "You listen here Potter-!"

She was cut of my the sound on my calm voice, "Thank you for having me here today professor. Unfortunately for you," I waved at the paper, "I will not participate in you silly games. I'll take my leave now."

I headed for the door in a calm pureblood manner after excusing myself.

"Come back you little-!"

I didn't hear the rest of what she was going to say as the door slammed behind me and I quickly left her office behind. 

I clenched my fist and let my anger out as I turned and punched the wall. How dare she.
I punched it again. How dare she.
Even though it hurt I kept punching the stone wall until my fists were all bloodied and broken.

I turned and headed to the seventh floor, mind clouded. As I was walking I felt something wet travel across my cheek. I brought my hand to the water then looked at it.

Was I crying?
Only weak people cry. I can't cry.
I won't cry. I'm not even hurt.
I looked down at my bloodied hands again, not hurt much, I meant. Why was I crying?
I'd promised myself that I'd never cut into my own body and let the Dursley's win.
And yet, somehow I felt like they did. Somehow, they won.
It's all my fault for falling into the Toads trap. My fault they won.
My fault.
Such a failure. Even to myself.
The Toad made me do it, she made me use the blood quill and scar myself. I never wanted to.
But I did. In doing so I basically handed the Dursley's a trophy.
I'm weak. That's all there is to it, I'm crying because I'm weak.

Suddenly it dawned on me.
I won't lie to myself anymore.
I am a freak.

I can speak to snakes, I've got loads of scars, I'm a wizard, a man is trying to kill me 'cause he couldn't the first time he attempted and now I've cut into myself. I'm different, I'm strange, my eyes are the color of death and I live with a Deatheater. And now I feel like killing something... someone.
The Dursley's were right, always have been. I'm a monster.

My tears had stopped flowing when I was on the fifth floor and now I'm pacing in front of the RoR. The door appeared and I walked in.
I saw Draco sitting on the floor a couple feet away as he looked up at me. "Harry?"

I just stared numbly at him.
I'll speak with Draco and I'll make Umbridge wish she never came to Hogwarts. I'll kill her. I- I'll...

I'll make her wish she would die.