Love is blind

Chapter 30

Sana POV

I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually missed school. And the people in school. Yeah, you know who is it. Five days without activities were way over my handling abilities. Chaeyoung's visit and phone calls made all the difference and had me looking forward to be back at school. I had a huge smile on my face as I walked through the doors. There's specific people that I been looking forward to see and my eyes couldn't stop from looking for her. And then, I see her waiting at our usual spot and my heart ruffled at the sight of her.

"Hey." I chirped grinning from ear to ear.

"Welcome back." Chaeyoung said a bit stiffly.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"As good as new." I said stepped closer.

Chaeyoung push the wall she was leaning against and held out her arm as she usually did.

"Glad that you're back." She said.

I linking our arms and I studied her half hidden face. I know something wasn't right.

"Are you okay?" I asked curious.

"Yes." She replied short.

Chaeyoung smile, but the harsh line of her features didn't soften. What wrong with this girl?

"How is gramps?" I asked trying to get more out of her.

"He's recovering well." She answer with nodded.

That nudging feeling that something was out of the place. Nayeon and Minho were walking to the class when they saw us. I couldn't help but smiling seeing them. Usually Minho keep distance between them. But now, I'm seeing shoulders brushing and pinkie fingers entwining. Nayeon give me mighty hug that it made me hard to breath.

"Thank you for all the message and the funny videos." I finally able to said when she let go.

"Anytime. But, don't get sick again. We missed you." She said laughed brightly.

"Awe, I missed you too." I could never ask for better friends.

Then, Minho give me a brotherly hug.

"Welcome back." He said a hit shyly.

"Good to be back. And thank you for all the notes. I really appreciate it. Really." I said sincerely.

And with that, all that shyness was knocked right off him and he grinned.

"You're welcome." He said.

The bell rang loudly over our heads. And we were back on the track to class.

"Hey, can we talk later? After school?" Chaeyoung asked when we entered our class.

"Yeah, sure." This seemed serious.

I wasn't sure it just me or there was a great deal tension is going on. My brain jumped from one thought to the other. What could cause Chaeyoung to close up like that? During class Chaeyoung kept quite while I took a notes. But, today was difference. She seem tense and looked like she in a deep thought. I don't know if she listen or not. At lunch, I tried to include Chaeyoung in conversation by throwing question at her every once and while but she was off. I couldn't break this wall of tension that going in between us. Last time we spoke on phone, we couldn't stop laughing. I thought everything were going well with us. But, what happen with this sudden silent change? By the time final bell rang, everyone rushed out of class that's when Chaeyoung finally spoke.

"Come with me." She held out her hand for me to take.

"Hmm, okay. Where are we going?" I asked.

"Somewhere quiet." She said sternly.

The moment I held Chaeyoung hand her fingers closed a bit tighter than usual over mine and she started to move. I wasn't the one who guide her this time. Her other hand ran against the wall and her steps were wide and confidant. I had to rush my pace to keep up. Whatever students were left in the halls moved out of her way as they usually do. The ones who didn't see her coming were pulled out of the way by others as we headed to the backside of school. We stepped from the cool indoors to the crisp winds outside.

My hair got blown in every direction and my hoodie was ruffling like a saluting flag. I used my free hand in disparate attempt to close it around me to stop my shivers. Chaeyoung's hand guided us down a few stairs then went back to slide over the gray brick wall. Tress swayed around us in continuous rustles. She didn't seemed bothered by the weather or the blowing wind. Her grip was tight, her jaw was set and the vein on her neck pulsed visibly. I noticed her head titled from side to side, ears picking the sounds around us. There was no one but us. She finally stopped and I being my usual clumsy self bumped into her.

"Sorry." I apologised.

She turned to face me and the stern features that I met worried me.

"Hey, what's going on? You have been quiet all day." I said.

Her lips parted but then closer again. Waiting with my hand still grasped in her. Her head turned away for a moment. Her teeth grinding causing her jaw muscles tighten. Her head snapped back in that angle that made me feel like she was looking at me. My reflection was clear in those dark shade. Chaeyoung took a deep breath then let it out slowly, her shoulder raised in what looked like an exhausted shrug.

"I know, Sana." Her voice as heavy as her dropped shoulder.

That got me confused.

"Huh? You know what?" I studied her face.
Her eyebrow drown together deepening the crease between them. The lines of her face were hard and rigid yet apologetic at the same time. Her mouth pressed in a tight line. Chaeyoung hands moved up my arms and stopped at my shoulder in a gentle touch. Her features softened to pain.

"I know." She said again.

Her voice lowered in sympathy. I stared at her. Reading her face again and again until it downed on me. Right there I felt like someone wrenched my soul out of my body. My heart broke recognising the features. The same tune I heard many. Many times before. When people walked in and out if our house to pay their respect after the accident. That pulled down 'be strong' smile. The touch that said I'm sorry for you lose. The same way friends treated me and my brother like we fragile and we could break at any moment. All this was happening all again. I could take that from anyone, but not Chaeyoung. Not her.

Numbness engulfed me whole. I couldn't move or breath. Breathing made my chest ache. I felt hollow inside. No thoughts. No emotions. Nothing. Just and empty shell. Tears started to pool in my eyes. Chaeyoung's thumb gently moved on my shoulders making my head snap up and then I saw her. She was staring at me. Reflecting on those dark shades. Lonely. Numb. Washed with sadness. I never wanted to feel that way again. It took me a long time to get myself out of the state. Now, I was swallowed back in. I hated that.

"Sana?" She started.

"H-how...?" Counting all people who knew and I only stopped at one.

"Aunt Jeongyeon?" I asked.

Chaeyoung shook her head.

"No. Actually Momo did. Aunt Jeongyeon only helped my understand wh-." I cuts her off.

"Momo?" I scoffed.

That felt like a bunch to the guts. The glorious cheerleader that everyone was saying how cute they looked together. The girl who has been eyeing me every time we crossed a path. The same girl Nayeon warned me about. The girl who would crack a loud laugh just that she would notice she was there and I could feel her tense up every time she did. The same girl who I joked about when I saw her reaction and asked 'girlfriend?'. The same girl that she would shot me down and roared 'EX AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT'. The same girl who would throw a 'she's mine' looked. I jerked away from her hands. What once felt like a friendly, gentle touch was now burning my skin.

"Wow! For a couple who broke up, you two sure do talk a lot." I said started to walk away.