Marvel Oneshots/ ScarJo,Lizzie Olsen&Florence Pugh

Caught {Nat×Fem!Reader}

Mom!Nat
Readers age: 16
Y/n has always had problems with herself.
Nobody, not even her mother Natasha knew about this.
She always hid it, and tried to cope.
Her way to cope with her problems wasn't good. She started drinking at a "young" age (she was like 13 when she started).

Warnings: Eating Disorder, anxiety, panic attacks, selfharm

Requested by: KYLAWALK

{Not spell checked}

PoV Y/n:

I was called downstairs for dinner by JARVIS.
I pulled an over-sized Hoodie out of my closet and quickly put it on to not just hide the cuts and scars on my arm, but also my body.
I've made my way to were everyone was sat, already waiting for me.
"There you are! We'd thought you'd never come" my best friend Wanda giggled.
I just shot a smile at her, sitting down next to Bucky and in front of my mother, Natasha Romanoff.
We were having pizza. I actually liked pizza, but since I haven't eaten properly in a while, everything tasted disgusting.

Everyone was chatting and laughing, while I pretended that everything was fine, even though it wasn't.
I had problems with myself for almost 4 years now.
Nobody has ever noticed.
I had been struggling with my weight, I gained lots of hate at school, I have never felt good enough, i mean, my mom was the Black Widow? And everyone told me, I would never be like her, or any of the other avengers..
I was ugly, not nearly as beautiful as my mom.
My red hair was just hanging straight down, not as beautiful wavy as my mother's.
And my green eyes weren't as piercing as hers. Mine were faded. But that could've been, because I had no more life in me.
Oh, and did I tell you, that I had an alcohol problem? Yes, I've been drinking since I've been 13 now.
This was my way to cope with my problems. But I also selfharmed myself.. and I hated myself for this, seriously.
I was a whole disappointment for my mom and for the avengers.
I was a disappointment in general.

As we all finished dinner, I helped Wanda clean up before rushing to my bathroom.
I quickly locked the door, sitting down in front of the toilet and throwing up everything I've eaten at dinner.
Once I was finished, I flushed, brushed my teeth and looked at myself in disgust.
"You're disgusting. You should die. Nobody loves you!" I told my reflection.
A few tears left my eyes, as I quickly wiped them away.
Today was movie night with the avengers, and I went back down, sitting down next to my mom, pulling my knees close to my chest.
Tony put on Pitch Perfect since we all loved that movie
It was my favorite movie alongside The Greatest Showman.
I pretended to laugh with everyone else, when my mind was elsewhere.

As soon as the movie finished, a told everyone I was tired.
I gave mom a kiss on the cheek, saying good night and quickly leaving.
As I reached my room, locking the door behind me and sliding down.
I was breathing heavily, feeling the sweat on my back.
Fuck, another panic attack.
I started shaking and crawled to my bed, reaching for the bag.
I opened it, pulling out a bottle of Vodka and Gin.
Then I turned on some slight music which I always heard when falling asleep.
I opened the door to my small balcony which I asked Tony for, and sat down, putting the bottles down on the floor.
I knew my limits, so I never drank that much more. I didn't was to have an alcohol poison.

After 2 hours, the vodka was empty, and I was drunk.
I could think more than others in my place could, so I went back in, putting the Gin into the bag and pushing it back under the bed into a hidden place.
Then I went to the bathroom, looking me in disgust. Again.
I quickly brushed my teeth, not even paying attention on how I looked and went to my bed, falling asleep.