Can You Save Me? { Sam Pottorff }

Chapter 61 ~ playing victim

Jazmin's P.O.V.

I put my book down when the door opens. Marley's mom walks in with folded clothes in her hands.

"Why does he always throw his clean shirts on the floor?" She sets the clothes on top of the dresser and begins to pick up the clothes on the floor.

"He folds them at the end of the day sometimes. It's soothing for him somehow." I tell her and she looks over at me before dropping the shirt she just folded.

"I didn't know that." She frowns. "How long has he been doing that?"

"Since we were 14 maybe." I don't know how it started. I just one day saw him dump everything in a drawer and then start to refold it. It was strange, but he always looked calm as he did it. "Do you think we can talk now? If you aren't busy.." I suddenly feel the urge to talk to her. To tell her, not everything, but more than she already knows. She hasn't asked or pushed me. She has just been really open to me being here, like always. She doesn't treat me any different. I love her even more for it.

"Yes, of course." She sits on the edge of the bed and I sit up and cross my legs. "What's on your mind?"

"I want to say thank you again, for letting me be here. I haven't given you much insight, but I feel like you already know." I begin and she puts her hand over mine and gives me a reassuring smile. "Sam and I broke up. Not because he did anything wrong. It's because the feelings weren't completely there for a while and it felt wrong. Which is why I'm here."

"Don't be mad at Marley." She whispers even though we're the only two in the house since Marley took Aimee to a birthday party. "But he told me about the both of you."

I feel my cheeks go hot. I'm not embarrassed. I'm nervous, which I shouldn't be. I knew he was going to tell her, but I told him I didn't want to know when. I wanted to tell her at first, but I chickened out. Telling his mom scared me. Not because I didn't think she'd approve of me, but because I thought she'd.. I didn't really know. My thoughts have been too twisted. I haven't been able to make sense of anything. Well, most things.

"It Is about time!" She surprises me by yelling. "I knew it when the both of you first met. It took you two what? Over ten years?"

"Can you rewind?" I lean back. About time? She knew? "How?"

"A mother's instinct." She brings me into a warm hug.

"I am going to start crying again." She fans her eyes with her hands. "Seeing you two happy, well way happier than before, is so.. words can't even describe. I love you two, and Aimee. More than anything. It's a nice feeling to know that despite the past, there is still hope in happiness." Hearing her say that brings me to tears. So much for my no crying for a week and a half record. I feel like a little kid, clinging to her as I cry. "Come on baby, you know what I said didn't mean much." She laughs lightly in my ear. "I'm proud of you though. Doing what you have done takes so much courage. I hope my son proves himself to be even better now that he has you. Really has you."

"Sam is really mad at us." I blink a few times too many after lifting my head from her shoulder." I really don't blame him and I feel bad, but all I can tell myself is, what am I supposed to do?"

"I haven't dated since.. It must have been twenty years ago. Before Christian, their father, I had been with no one. Until some new kid came in. He had the looks that could kill. Christian told me to be careful. He kept an eye on me that entire semester. Kennedy, the other boy, was nice, too nice. I didn't feel like I could give him as much as he needed. I hesitated a lot more than I needed to. I was too unsure about things. I was young and confused. He came from a wealthy family and he was brilliant. He had practically everything, but I was torn. I didn't know what was making me feel that way until I realized Christian had drifted away. I missed him and needed him more. Things got more confusing then they needed to be, until I finally broke it off with Kennedy. I was free to do what ever I wanted so I went to Christian. I didn't have to try with him. He and I already got along the way we were suppose to. I wasn't worried about what I could give him because we already knew what we could give each other. The instant connections were all there. This isn't ideal, but we got married right out of high school. Marley came a few months after. Sure, I had felt bad for not feeling the same way as Kennedy. He was always ready to give me so much, but I wasn't willing to take it. I didn't feel so bad, in fact I got completely over it while I was with Christian.. because we knew we'd be together, we knew what we wanted, needed. Marley solidified it all. Aimee was another reminder that I made the right choice. It isn't like I completely dropped Kennedy. We were still friends. Not for a while, but eventually he got over it and now he has a wife in Northridge somewhere with ten kids. Crazy huh?"