Can You Save Me? { Sam Pottorff }

Chapter 62 ~ I rather die today.

Sam's P.O.V.

"What the fuck happened?" Kian walks up to me quickly, almost slipping on a shirt in the process. "You're bleeding."

I pull down my hand and see blood drip from my finger. "Yeah." I wince when I put my hand back over my face.

"Did you get jumped?" He asks when I reach the kitchen. I run my hand under the water and grab a paper towel.

"Jumped?" Jc walks in. "Holy shit, Sam. What happened?" He runs up just like Kian just did.

"I thought you went to talk to Marley?" Kian tries to pull my face to him but I shrug him away. It sends a wave of pain through my head, but I keep myself from falling over. I wipe my face and watch as blood runs down the drain.

"I did." I mumble. "It obviously didn't go well. Did it?"

"He did this?" Jc tries to pull me back, but I shrug him away just like Kian. But I nod, giving him his answer. "I can't imagine him doing that."

"He just hit you? Why?" Kian seems more surprised than Jc.

"I hit him first." I finally turn around. I lean against the sink and stare forward. "Tried to, anyway."

"Why would you do that? I thought you went to say sorry?" Kian is looking at me like I lied to him. I didn't lie. I had every intention to say sorry and talk to Marley. That's just not how it was when we got there.

"I did." I say through my teeth. I can't get the image of her on him out of my head. It's disgusting and I want it out. "But I can't stand him."

"What did he say?" I'm not sure which one of them asks. I feel everything go fuzzy and I grip the sink with both hands to keep me from falling. I'm lucky I made it home without crashing and that this is barely kicking in now.

The fact he didn't think or show that he did anything wrong makes me angry. We were all fine. We were all happy. He had to go and fuck that all up. He made her leave me. It's all his fault. He didn't need to get involved. Now I have nothing. I will never be able to get her back because he keeps poisoning her. I won't ever be able to have her the same way again.

"He kept lying to me." I can hardly remember our conversation. My head is throbbing and my cheek feels like it's about to explode.  I put my hand on it again and cry out in pain. "I never want to talk to them ever again."

"He must've hit you pretty hard." Jc reaches out and I let him put a hand on me this time. "How long did you two fight for?"

"It was quick." I sigh. "He only hit me once."

By the look on their faces, I can tell they're disappointed. I'm not strong at all. It shouldn't be surprising. Marley compared to me.. it's easy to choose who'd win. Him with all his muscles and size, then there's me with practically nothing.

"This is not one hit." Jc says unconvinced. "Why'd you hit him?" He says it like it's the stupidest thing I could've done. I think it was the stupidest thing I've ever done.

"I kept picturing him and her.. He acted like he did nothing wrong." I close my eyes and the image is there. I try to cut him out. I try to just think of her. But when I picture her smiling, Marley is right next to her.

"He didn't do anything wrong."

"What?" I snap my eyes open. "You're on his side too, Jc?"

"I'm just saying.." He pulls his hand away from me. "He didn't. I don't care whether you believe me or not. You can't be mad forever. Get over it, Sam."

"Get over it Sam?" I repeat. "Get over it? Meaning what? Him? Or her? Get over her?"

"Fuck, Sam. Since the day we met her you've been putting her first. She broke up with you so that you and her could do things on your own."

"The whole point was for us to be together."

"Do you not realize that she hardly knew who she was? Maybe she didn't know what she wanted, for herself or maybe she just kept trying to convince herself that this was the way to go." Kian looks likes he's struggling. "I mean.. I just think that you can't blame anyone here. Stop blaming him. He can't help his feelings just as much as you can't. You got to show it. He didn't, out of respect for you. She broke up with you before she realized she had something for him. You can't say he wasn't a good friend. He has been good to all of us. I love you, we all do, but that isn't going to stop me and the rest of the guys from seeing him, and her. They're our friends. We aren't going to drop them like they're nothing. You know how much that shit hurts, Sam."

"Whatever." I walk away from them and they don't say anything to stop me. I'm mad, exhausted, and depressed. I want to be away from everyone.

So I lock myself in my room. Hit play so that music surrounds the room, and turn it to the highest it'll go. I through myself on the floor.

I want her to be here. To be laying next to me, with her arms tucked behind her head, staring up at nothing. The way when she didn't say a word until I did.. The conversations we had about the future. The things we joked about. It was only weeks ago. I miss her so much. I want her to be here, with me.

Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.

I rather die today.