It's always been you

White Lies, Blue Lover

Happiness and peace that is about to be broken
Love and promises laced with secret and lies
Past that was looming behind
Future threatening to gobble from above
Is white lies the answer to the blue lover's trust?

~~~

YU's eyes flutter open. He was welcomed with the dim light of the bedside table lampshade. His head was pounding like hell and he couldn't help but wince inwardly. He looks back and saw Sam fast asleep while cradling him in his warm embrace. The pain of his damn headache slightly lessens at the sight of YU's heartbeat. 

He slowly turns around to avoid waking up the serene-looking man. He traced the lush eyebrows from left to right while he plays with Sam's long eyelashes he loved so much. There are so many poetries and pieces of literature written under the name of love... but YU thinks love in its purest form cannot be described by mere words. It can only be felt inside the heart. For the heart's language was only known by the soul who possesses it.

And right now... YU could only let this surging emotion inside him swirl around and consume him. He needed this feeling like he needed air. And the high he was feeling alongside it usually lessen his constant migraine. YU gently disentangle himself from Sam before he steps out of the bed. He holds onto the bedpost for support because every time this bout of headaches occurs... the entire room felt like spinning.

Sam was worried when he informed him about this before. He knows his boyfriend too well that's why when something like this happens, he usually kept it to himself. These are just headaches so he didn't want Sam to fuss so much. He silently rummages around his duffle bag to find pain relievers he had acquired to lessen the pulsing of his head.

When he finds the bottle, he pops up two and reaches for a water tumbler nearby for easy swallowing. He knows that they promise not to keep any secret but because YU felt like this is just a small matter... white lies were not bad at all. It will free Sam of more worries.

He rested his head on his hands for a few minutes. When the pain subsides he gave off a sigh of relief. This was getting constant that even YU felt the need to go on a test on his own before their impromptu vacation trip.

He knows that the result will be nothing worse than a chronic migraine, but there is nothing wrong with being aware. He has already a huge problem on how he would one day bring Sam to a specialist to fully diagnose him... so with regards to his own health problems he doesn't need to complicate it much.

But he didn't manage to get the result due to this trip that's why he asked his physician to send it via email. He wasn't sure why it was taking too long for him to receive it... but he was not in a hurry after all. All will come in due time.

YU went back to bed and scoot near Sam. He rested his head on the other's chest. He loved listening to this man's heartbeat. He knows that there is a huge chance that Sam would leave him ahead of his time... so hearing the thing that symbolizes life pulsing healthily inside him... YU was at ease.

He wanted to completely disregard the future and focus on the present but being human makes him selfish. Selfish to savor the moments Sam was here. To imprint in him a piece of this man so he will be forever part of him. YU knows that this obsession wasn't healthy at all... but what can he do?

Sam was the one he wanted to spend every waking hour and if possible grow old with him up to the point they would close their eyes together to face the afterlife hand in hand.