It's always been you

Fallacy

The silhouette of your back... the shadow you left behind...
A promise of return
Counting the days, hours, minutes, and seconds
I shouldn't have trusted the promise that was meant to be broken

~~~

Four men... one lying on the bed, two sitting on both sides, and the other standing next to the door. Silence dominates the room. Aside from the deep heavy breathing and the ticking of the clock on the wall, nothing can be heard.

Eyes glazed with different emotions but contain the same façade. Minds full of thoughts and hearts beating with worries. It's been 27 years since the four of them decided to talk about the elephant in the room together... but not one word was uttered for no one could put in words what they are all feeling right now.

"We need to do that long overdue DNA test." Tian finally speaks up, cutting the thick air inside the small space that's slowly suffocating them all. Three men look at him in surprise. "Are you sure about that, love?" Ray asked. He still couldn't do much movement but at least now he can turn his head more easily. 

"Are we waiting for one of us to die first before we conduct something we should have done long ago? Because I don't want to close my eyes without putting a period to this long unrest." Tian answered, his tone was hard. Ray refuses to say anything after that.

"What could it possibly prove? Aside from digging the past long asleep?" Evan questioned, his eyes glassy and the pain was written in its depth. "Asleep? Did it ever sleep? We kept on escaping going in this convo because we are old men too afraid of the ghost of the past. Yang Yu Teng is dead. If Lin Zi Hong indeed is Sam's father... would he rise up from the dead to condemn us for trying to bury the hatchet once and for all?" It was Richard who finally snaps. He was too tired of this back and forth.

"Watch your mouth, old man. Know your place. Why it was Yu Teng who always gets the short end of the rope? Why is Lin Zi Hong always the one who should be understood? Is it because he has some terminal disease? That's why his assholeness and cowardness can be excused? Is that it?" Ray's voice increased into decibel that is far from comfortable.

Tian tries to reach out to comfort his husband but Ray raises his hand, stopping him from doing so. "Have you forgotten who was the only innocent party here? It is not you... it is not me... it is not that damn Lin Zi Hong. It was Yang Yu Teng! It was him who had suffered the most and dies without even knowing the semblance of truth! But why was he even in death has to suffer this fucking injustice? Huh? I was shutting my mouth all this time for the sake of Sam. But you don't have the fucking right to speak ill of his soul."

Tian sometimes wonders if Ray still felt a semblance of feelings of Yu Teng. It was a ridiculous notion for even if he does... YU was dead and he was his husband. But he still wonders as he fights their friends for his sake... if YU was alive... would Ray fell for him?

Tian closed his eyes for he knows his thoughts were inappropriate. So he focused his entire self in the conversation of now. 

"Stop speaking Ray as if you are condemning ZI Hong too for the sins he still hasn't been proven to commit. We still weren't sure if he was indeed Sam's father. Until that was proven he was also as innocent as Yang Yu Teng. Both of them are the victims here if you have forgotten." Evan interjected, his voice cracked in the middle as emotions start surging up.

"Isn't that why you are so adamant not to conduct that DNA test right? Because you are so afraid to taint the hero and sacrificial image of your damn friend. It is better to let YU suffer the injustice of the decades as long as Lin Zi Hong remains the hero of the story." Ray snickers as he throws barbs on both Evan and Richard.