Never Let Go

Chapter 37: Restlessness

🕊2 YEARS LATER🕊

Another restless and sleepless night.

I toss and turn in bed, but no matter what position I try, and no matter how many times I adjust my pillows, I just can't seem to get comfortable. For hours I've kept my eyes closed and just laid there, trying so hard to fall asleep, but I can't.

This is useless. I take a deep breath and in the end I have to sit up because I'm hot and agitated. I rub my face and run my hands through my hair before standing up and quietly leaving the room.

As I pour myself a glass of water I stare out of the kitchen window at the picturesque night sky. It's a full moon tonight, and it's so big and beautiful, illuminated by frosty white pure light. The stars are alive and dancing in the sky, twinkling brightly. It's almost as if there's a snowfall sparkling in outer space. They're like flashing pinpricks in a veil of darkness. It's the most beautiful art, alive with raw energy. Looking up at the sky at night always brings me some sort of comfort...

I sip my water and stand there, staring into space. Eventually I come back to earth and snap out of my trance, realising that the glass in my hand is now empty.

I move to the living room and try to read a book, thinking that will help with my restlessness, but it doesn't. I can't concentrate properly, so I throw the book down and sigh as I look around the room. I can't just sit on the sofa all night... In the end, I decide to go back up to bed.

I slowly get under the covers, but I disturb Monique. She stirs in her sleep and turns around, slowly opening her eyes.

"Are you ok?" She croaks.

"Yeah, sorry." I whisper.

She wraps her arm around me and snuggles closer.

"Can't you sleep again?" She asks.

"I just needed some water."

"Mm." She nuzzles into my neck and I kiss her head.

She falls back to sleep and I stare at the ceiling. By the time I drift off into a light sleep, it's daylight outside and birds have awoken, chirping away good morning to the world.

🕊🕊🕊

Once I'm showered and dressed I head downstairs. Monique's heels click against the floor as she moves around the kitchen and I see a plate of pancakes she's made on the table next to a bowl of freshly prepared fruit.

"Hey, baby." She turns her head and smiles at me. "I made you breakfast."

"Thanks, it smells good." I smile, but she frowns when she sees my smile doesn't reach my eyes.

"You look tired."

She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my neck.

"I couldn't really sleep." I shake my head and take a deep breath.

"How many times have I told you to make a doctors appointment?" She raises her eyebrows.

"I know... a lot." I smile slowly.

"Yeah, more than a lot. Ever since I've known you you've had problems sleeping. A year, to be exact, and that's a long time to not get help. It's not normal, babe. You can't go on like this... you must be exhausted every day."

I give her a look and smirk.

"I thought I'm the one who's supposed to be therapist?"

"Don't make jokes." She smiles and slaps my arm playfully. "This is serious. You'll make yourself ill."