Never Let Go

Chapter 42: Rollercoaster

A couple of weeks go by and so far there's been no contact between Maya and I. No texts, no calls, and no bump ins. I know we agreed to stay away from each other, but I find myself constantly checking my phone to see if she's text me, and I always hope that I might run into her whenever I leave the house. Hoping to see another woman isn't something a man in a relationship should be doing...

Staying away from each other isn't what I want, but this situation sucks and it's complicated. I don't know how much longer I can keep lying to myself and lying to Monique. The longer I leave this, the more I'm going to hurt people. Eventually I'm going to have to tell Monique the truth, and I can't keep forcing this "relationship" because it's not right. My heart just isn't in it... it never has been. Maya owns my heart, and the heart wants what the heart wants, but if I break up with Monique, then what? Maya still thinks she doesn't deserve me and she's not in the best mental state at the moment, so will she stay with Toby? I know she's not happy with him and she doesn't want to be with him. He's just convenient, and she's probably doing the same as what I'm doing with Monique... trying to move on and force something that isn't there. What Maya and I have is special, and we'll never be able to replace that. Whatever happens, it's not going to be easy...

I'm glad Maya and I are trying to be adults about this at least because this isn't easy for either of us, and I'm happy we had a proper talk, but none of this feels right and I can't waste any more time. Now she's back in my life, I plan to keep her in it. I can't risk this chance and lose her again, but now I just need to figure out what I'm going to do...

Monique wants us to go to a funfair this evening and I said I'd think about it, but I'm not exactly in the mood to go to something like that, especially since I need to talk to her about our relationship, and not only that I've recently found out she's invited Toby along, which means Maya will probably be there. So much for staying away from each other if I decide to go. Part of me actually wants to go knowing that she might be there, although I should probably resist and stay home...

But, me being weak, I cave in, and of course I go.

🕊🎠🎢✨🕊

It's early evening and the sun is starting to set just over the horizon. The funfair is already full of life; children screaming for joy and laughing as they run around enjoying themselves. Queues for the rides have began to form into snake shapes with some people moaning about having to wait, while others take the time to chatter away. You can hear snatches of different conversations over the sound of the rides and music as you walk around. Everything smells so good. The tempting aroma of fries and hotdogs fill the air, as well as popcorn and cotton candy. The more the sun sets, the more beautiful everything gets when the colourful lights from the numerous stalls and rides of the funfair light up the darkening night sky, like disco spotlights.

"I'm not sure where Toby is." Monique said as she looks around the crowds of people.

"He probably isn't here yet."

"Mmm." She makes a face, but then stops in her tracks. "Oh."

"What?" I stop and stare at her, seeing her gaze over a certain direction.

"Is that Wes?"

I turn my head and squint my eyes, trying to see past all the people walking in front of me, and standing right over by one of the stalls is Wes and Amy. I should've known he'd be here. He's just as much of a big kid as I am when it comes to places like this.

"Yeah, that's them." I nod and walk off into their direction.

"Where are you going?"

"To say hi." I give her a look.