Never Let Go

Chapter 66: A New Day

I stayed up holding Maya in my arms all night. I haven't been able to sleep, and time seems to have flashed by - one second it was pitch black and now Maya's bedroom is filled with light. Birds are singing good morning and the sun in the sky shines, welcoming a new day...

A new day.

It's so hard to think of it as a new day, a fresh start, a new beginning... it's so hard to feel positive when my whole life has been turned upside down, and so has Maya's.

The sun is shining, but there's a big, black cloud hanging over us... I've cried so much, I don't think I have any more tears left to cry.

I stare at the ceiling, listening to Maya breathe deeply and softly. She cried for hours in my arms until she eventually passed out and fell asleep. She must have been so exhausted.

I gaze down at her and kiss her head as I gently stroke through her hair, being careful not to wake her. At least being asleep is some kind of escape for her, but when she wakes up, the reality of everything will just hit her again... I hate all of this. It's not fair. The poor girl has had enough shit happen to her already, and she's been through enough... why is this happening? I'd do anything to take her pain away.

Everything spiralled out of control last night. I had everything planned - we were meant to have a nice, romantic meal, and I was going to ask her to move in with me... I wanted Maya to be excited and I wanted us to look forward to the future... it should've been a happy moment, but it was far from that.

I really can't think about anything else right now and I'm certainly not in the right state to be giving therapy sessions today, so I'll have to call my patients and reschedule. I never do this and I try my best not to let them down, but it can't be helped. I'll be no good to any of them today. My focus is on Maya, and nothing else. Today we're going to call the hospital and arrange an appointment. She said she found out around 3 or 4 weeks ago, and we really can't afford to waste any more time. The sooner she gets treatment, the better, and the more chance she will have at fighting this and surviving.

I slowly pull myself away from her and make sure not to disturb her as I carefully get out of bed.

I slowly walk in to the kitchen with lack of energy and feeling so drained, and the first thing my eyes land on are the red roses sitting in a vase on the kitchen table. I frown and my eyes well up with tears when I remember giving them to Maya - it was the calm before the storm... little did I know that hours later everything would change, and I would find out the heartbreaking truth Maya was trying so desperately to hide.

I walk towards the roses, and as I get closer, I notice the photo frame my mother gave us is on the floor, smashed and broken... I suddenly remember Maya trying to take the bottle of vodka from me, and me pushing her back in to the table which made it fall on to the floor and smash.

I get down on my knees and carefully pick up the broken glass. I frown and gently take the photo out from the broken frame, making sure not to damage it as I do so. I stare at the picture of Maya and I holding each other, and I instantly burst in to tears.

"Michael..." Maya squeaks through her sad, shaky voice.

I immediately force myself to stop crying and turn my head, looking over at her. I need to stay strong for her... I can't be a blubbering mess 24/7 because she needs me right now.

"Hey." I said forcing a smile and taking in a deep breath as I stand up. "I was just cleaning up the broken glass... be careful not to step around here... I need a dustpan and brush to make sure I've got it all."

She nods and walks over to a cupboard, pulling out a dustpan and brush.

"Thank you." I said, taking it from her.