Never Let Go

Chapter 67: I'll Try

I close my eyes and drop my head back, feeling the warm water pour down on to my face and body. I was exhausted, and standing under the shower is just what I need to ease my aching body.

While I stand under the shower I think about everything that's happened in the last 48 hours. It's one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, and I'm finding it difficult to wrap my head around the whole awful situation.

After Maya calmed down and fell asleep, I passed out too. I woke up about an hour ago, but Maya is still sleeping. I'm so glad I found her and she's safe, that's the most important thing. Once she's awake and sobered up we can talk properly... I just hope when she wakes up she's going to be ok.

I finish in the shower and quietly get dried and dressed in the bedroom, making sure not to disturb Maya.

I'm not too hungry, but I haven't eaten since the meal we had at the restaurant, so I decide I better make myself something, even if it's just a sandwich. I'm trying my best to take care of Maya, but I need to take care of myself too because it will do no good if I make myself ill. I need to keep my strength up so I can be there for her.

I instantly feel a bit better after some sleep, a shower and some food. I'm still stressed and exhausted, but until Maya beats the cancer, I don't think that feeling will ever go away. I make Maya a sandwich and pour out a glass of water for her before taking it upstairs. She might still be sleeping, and if she is then I'll leave it on the bedside table for when she wakes up.

As I walk in to the room, Maya lifts her head up and looks over at me. She looks so sad... I show a little smile and she sits up, keeping the duvet over her naked body.

"Hey." I say softly and walk over to the bed.

"Hi." She croaks, barely giving me any eye contact.

I sit next to her and stare at her quietly. She keeps her head down, trying to hide behind her curls. I can tell she's trying so hard to hold back her tears. This takes me back to that time I found her passed out in the restroom of a club because she took an overdose and I called an ambulance. She regretted what happened that night and she felt ashamed, and seeing me so upset just made her feel even worse. I think that's how she might be feeling right now because she can barely look at me.

"I made you a sandwich." I said breaking the silence. "I know you're probably not hungry, but you need this, so I don't want any arguments, ok?"

As she glances at me, tears escape her eyes and fall down her cheeks. She doesn't say a word as I hold out the plate and glass of water. She decides not to argue which I'm grateful for, and slowly accepts the food. She places the plate on her lap and takes a few sips of water.

"Thank you." She said quietly with her voice sounding raspy.

Once she's done with the glass of water I take it from her and place it on the bedside table. She still isn't touching the sandwich, though, she's just staring at it.

"Please, Maya, try to eat a little bit at least?" I frown.

And with that she finally picks it up and takes a bite, chewing slowly as she stares down at the plate. I'm glad she's finally putting some food in to her body. She's gone way too long without eating anything. Hopefully this will help get her strength back up a little, and food will help sober her up too.

"How are you feeling?" I ask as I watch her finish a mouthful.

Her bottom lip trembles and she takes another bite, trying to distract herself and force herself from crying.

"My head hurts..." She said before swallowing the food.

She takes another bite, but this time she's unable to fight back the tears and begins to cry.