Never Let Go

Chapter 93: Heartbeat

Dr. Hilary rambles on, but I'm so shocked and confused, I don't hear what she's saying.

"I'm pregnant?" I blurt out, cutting her off.

I can't believe those words are coming out of my mouth.

"Yes, Maya. Your blood and urine sample was tested-"

"No." I shake my head, holding my forehead. "You're wrong. I can't be pregnant."

"I understand this is probably a shock for you, but you are pregnant."

"What?" I think I'm about to have a panic attack. "B-but how?" I breathe heavily and run my hand through my hair. "You're wrong, or this has got to be a fucking joke. Seriously?"

"No, it's not a joke. It's really important that you and Michael book an appointment so we can discuss everything in more-"

I hang up and throw my phone down.

Pregnant?!

This can't be real? Am I dreaming? What the fuck is happening? I pace back and forth, tangling my hands through my hair as I try to process this. I can't be pregnant... I thought it was pretty much impossible? It has to be cancer again, surely? I don't believe it.

I need to buy a pregnancy test and see for myself. That's the only way I might believe it. Michael has the car, but there's a small store not far from the house. I waste no more time and practically run to the store.

I grab a handful of tests from the shelf and end up buying 4 lots. I have to be sure. I would have bought more, but that's all they had. I hurry back home and run to the bathroom. I'm in such a state. I'm sweating like hell, and I'm completely out of breath.

I manage to pee on the test and anxiously wait for the result. I'm shaking so much. I take deep breaths and drop my head back, staring up at the ceiling. I'm so scared to look at the result. It must have taken me 10 minutes or longer to finally look at it. I hold my breath and close my eyes tightly before reading it.

Pregnant

A little sob escapes my lips, and I cover my mouth with my hand in shock. Tears fill my eyes while I stare at the test, still in disbelief.

I still don't believe it, so I wait and take a second test... it reads pregnant. I take the third test... pregnant. I take the fourth and last test... pregnant.

I'm fucking pregnant.

I cry on the bathroom floor, staring at the 4 positive tests in front of me. I laugh and start to smile through my tears. This is just crazy. I can't believe it. Is this happening?

So, all these weeks of feeling weird and worrying that the cancer is back, it's been you. All this time, I've been pregnant. I look down and gently rest my hand on my stomach. I smile and cry a bit harder.

"Maya?" Michael calls out.

Oh my god. Michael's back... he isn't going to believe this either. He's going to be so happy. How am I even going to tell him the news?! I get up and head over to the stairs.

"Sorry I took so long. I bumped into a client." I heard him shout out.

He's unpacking the bags in the kitchen.