unexpected -Dane DeHaan fanfiction-

Chapter 73

Dane's Point Of View

I was dying on the inside, itching to go back to my disgusting old habits. Today out of all days, that feeling of need and desperation was overpowering, weakening, needy. I longed for my best friend and my worst enemy, drugs. I undid and retied the buttons on my white formal shirt until my long nimble fingers became sore. After that I went on to my tie which was immediately pushed and pulled in every direction by my shaking hands which caused me to choke myself a couple of times. Nothing about my attire felt right, let me rephrase that, nothing about this day felt right. Today was my wedding day. The day Kim and I would solidify and bond our lives together for eternity.

My neck felt knotted, uncomfortable. I felt sick, period, but I continued to get ready because my heart longed to meet Kim Knight at city hall. But my mind, my stupid foolish mind, all it wanted was the sweet taste of deathly chemicals.

"I can't" I repeated over and over again internally and verbally. I didn't want to end up in the hospital again, or worse, six feet underground but my subconscious wouldn't listen. It was nauseating, every bit of it. Although my fingers were spastic and shaky I managed to dress myself and get in my car. My fingers gripped the steering wheel with an animalistic force, I didn't know how I was still on the lane. Desperation, surrender, need, want, greed, lust, I felt it all. I could barely keep my wild eyes on the road, I couldn't stop thinking of my demon.

Eventually, I arrived in front of city hall where I found myself sweating for many reasons. My head was kept down with my hands in my pockets as I walked the walk of shame towards the grand white painted door.

She looked beautiful, mature, she looked like a wife. Once my eyes glanced toward her I knew I was right to come here. I watched a smile form on her sacred lips as soon as she saw me.

- Kim - I said/breathed. She said nothing back but simply got on her tippy toes and gave me a sweet short kiss.

- I love you - the words were uttered momentarily after she showed me her affection and love.

- I love you too -

- I can't belie... - I cut her off by placing my hand softly against her mouth.

- I love you, but I can't marry you -

Silence inevitably sunk into our atmosphere.

- but you're here, and you looked so happy when you saw me - she tried to comprehend what was going on.

- I'm ecstatic to see you, always. But I still can't marry you -

- please explain to me what's going on. Let me in, tell me what you feel. Don't block me out now - I hushed her once again.

- since the beginning of our twisted relationship it's always been me who had to chase after you -

- I'm not running anymore - she interrupted me.

- you're right, you're right where I want you to be and that's why the pain of doing this is even more excruciating - I said.

- we're right where we're supposed to be. It takes two to make a relationship work -

- no Kim, it's just you now because I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I live with the need to inject myself with drugs every day and to top it off I still have to tend to you. I love being a slave to your love but I just cant bare to hurt you anymore because ultimately it's me who pays the higher price - I backed away from her slightly.

- let me help you, tell me what demons live inside of you. I need to know - she took a step forwards. I reluctantly turned my back to her and unexpectedly shouted. From the corner of my eye I saw her flinch. She was scared and had every right to be.

- you can't just give up like this - she said in a soft tone.

- I already have - I said as I pushed the elevator door and walked inside the metal box.

- Dane - she said with disappointment evident in her eyes.

- Kim - I said. The elevator doors closed.
This is the end of Unexpected. Thanks for all the support and I hope you decide to keep supporting Kim and Dane in the next chapter of their lives. So much love and respect for each one of you, thank you again. A sequel has not yet been officially announced but if you'd like one then go ahead and comment ⬇.