Tempted | Kai Parker

seventy four: progress

For the first time in what must have been months, I actually had the opportunity to go out alone with Caroline this morning.

It was only a quick trip to the mall so we could both pick up a dress for tonight's party, but to me, it still felt almost surreal. The ability to go out alone without fear was a luxury which I hadn't been afforded as of late, and I hadn't realised just how amazing it would feel when I got that luxury back. Although, there was still a few instances throughout our trip where I'd feel like someone was staring at me, and I'd grow tense. I guess I hadn't really got used to the feeling of security just yet.

Caroline had also arranged for all of the girls to get ready together at her house tonight, which was the first time in a very long time, and Kai was going to meet us all there before we headed to the party. That meant the only thing I had to do before I went to Caroline's was to pack a bag with all the things which I needed in order to get ready, and to take a shower. Both seemed like simple enough tasks, but for me getting in water was no longer a simple task. So, more and more time ticked by, and I still couldn't scrape up enough courage to even step foot in the bathroom.

Every other day this week had been hard enough, dipping in for two minutes and scrambling back out again, but today was going to be even worse. I needed to wash my hair today. And washing my hair meant that my shower wasn't going to be over in two minutes. It meant that I'd have to relive the feeling of swimming down to the bottom of the pool to retrieve Joshua's box of torture for even longer. It probably meant that by the time I got out, I'd be in such a mess that I'd regret even agreeing to the party in the first place.

I was dreading it so much, that for the past hour I'd just been sitting on the sofa staring into space, trying to convince myself that I was going to be alright. Trying to convince myself it was just water. But I knew I was running out of time before I had to leave for Caroline's. I knew that if I didn't get in the shower soon, I was going to be late. And I think Kai must have been vigilantly watching the time as well, probably hyper aware of the fact that I should've started getting ready by now.

"Andie, are you okay?" He asked gently, giving a soft touch on my arm. "You've not been talking much."

I quickly snapped out of my daydream, focusing my attention on him with a slight shake of my head. "Sorry, in my own world again." I explained lamely.

"Are you worried about the party?" He asked, softly stroking my skin.

"No - it's not that." I breathed, feeling a small dose of embarrassment flush my cheeks at the real reason I was so scared. "It's silly really."

"It's not silly if it's bothering you."

I pushed out a small sigh, averting my gaze back to the wall. I found it easier not to look right into someone's eyes when I was telling them something personal. That way I wouldn't know if they were judging me.

"It's the shower." I admitted with a weak voice. "I know you saw me crying in the bathroom earlier this week - but I've still been struggling with the water. It just - it makes me feel like I'm back in that place again."

He nodded understandingly, clasping my hand in between his.

"And I've been managing a quick shower every day, even though it has been really tough." I explained. "But I need to wash my hair - and I just -" I choked up, feeling tears rush to the back of my eyes and my throat tightening. "I'm just scared."

He quickly lifted his hand to gently brush the tears away from my cheeks, as he cupped my face with his palms, guiding my gaze back to his.

"Listen, I totally understand how difficult that must be for you, and I want you to know that it's not silly at all." He hushed, gently tracing my cheekbone with his thumb. "You've been so brave, alright?"