Tempted | Kai Parker

eighty six: memories

Kai's POV

The first week without Andie had without a doubt, been one of the most difficult weeks of my life.

I wished that I could be as numb as I used to be. That I could get through this without feeling a thing. But now I felt everything so deeply. The pain was so intense, throbbing through my entire body at all times. Something in my chest had twisted itself into a tight knot and had stayed there ever since she left me. And with every second, I became more aware of the uncomfortable weight the coil left behind.

The apartment had seemed desolate and deserted. It was nothing without her. Without the sound of her laughter and the sweet scent of her perfume. Nothing felt the same anymore. I'd lost everything which had the ability to make me smile. Everything which had made my life worthy of living.

Now all I did with my days was lie across the sofa on my back, staring at the blank canvas of ceiling and recounting every minute I'd ever spent with Andie. Each memory felt like a stab through the chest, but I didn't see the pain as a reason for stopping. I wanted to think about her for every second of the day, no matter how much the agony crippled me. Those memories were all I had to hold onto now. And I had no intentions of letting go.

Now my mind drifted back to the prison world. To the place where all of this had started. In all of the years I'd been there, I never thought it was possible that I might be enjoy a day spent in what, in my eyes, was hell. But Andie proved me wrong. She brought joy to the place I despised, and most impressively, she taught me how to feel again. And that was a true marker of how utterly extraordinary she was. Being so remarkable that even a sociopath manages to fall in love with you is quite an achievement.

I still remembered the night she'd taken me to the town square as clearly as if it was a film playing in my mind. I remembered how it felt like the world was warping around us as she held onto my hands and transported us right to the top of the bell tower. The sickening, dizzy speed at which she moved, and the electric shock that hit me when I realised where we were.

The starry night sky that blanketed us was breathtaking, but still, all I could focus on was the girl by my side. I could still recall the way my heart thumped as I wrapped my arm around her waist, feeling intoxicated just from the way her skin felt again mine. We sat in silence for hours, just enjoying the closeness that for once - she didn't push away.

I could have thought about that memory for days.

But just as I found myself getting lost in all the complex sensations of that night, I heard a series of quick knocks tapping at my door. The memory instantly faded from my mind, and I came crashing back down to reality feeling irritated. I glanced down the hallway towards the door, pushing out a sigh and wondering if it was worth answering. Then a thought popped into my head.

What if it was Andie?

Before I'd even fully processed the notion, I found myself scrambling towards the door, quickly trying to fix my hair into place on the way. I allowed myself one second to pull in a calming breath before I reached for the door handle. And just as I gave it a twist, a wave of panic swept through my brain. If it was her, what was I going to say? What was she going to say?

The crack in the door widened just enough so that I could see a flash of blonde hair, and with that, all of the hope I'd worked up fizzled away from my body. I instinctively let out a dejected sigh, but Caroline seemed unfazed, her smile as wide as ever.

"Hey." She chirped. I wondered if she was trying to be overly cheery in an attempt to brighten up my mood. If she was, I wished she'd stop. "You've looked better."

"Thanks, Caroline." I mumbled bluntly, though she probably wasn't wrong. My hair was dishevelled and unwashed, my jaw stubbled, and my under-eyes were hollow and purple looking.