Little One ∞ George Russell

23 | Not good enough

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Little Mix - Good Enough:
'Am I still not good enough? Am I still not worth that much? I'm sorry for the way my life turned out, sorry for the smile I'm wearing now. Guess I'm still not good enough'

The testing weeks had flown by. The team was pretty satisfied with the results, seeing a massive improvement from last year's car. Everyone was ecstatic when they got back to the factory, believing in the chances of not coming last in the championship this year. Fiona had managed to get the visions of Kyra and George out of her head for the remainder of the days she was there. She fully focused on work and with taking care of the guests, getting the team's clothes to and from the dry cleaners daily and working in the hospitality unit all week, she nearly had no time to eat, let alone think about anything else. She had seen George a few times, spending time in his room together and just hanging out, but she hadn't mentioned the blonde girl or their relationship once.

Fiona was getting a little confused. She knew that she had been with Miles when they first met each other, but they had liked each other just as long as Maddie and Toby had and the two of them had established their relationship a while ago. It made her think George didn't like her like that and that he couldn't see himself being with her for a long time. She hadn't talked about it with him or even Madeleine yet, but her mind was driving her crazy right now. Fiona felt herself getting dizzy and a sharp pain shot through her head while she entered her apartment building. 'Why was this happening right now?' A few minutes later, she found out exactly why. When she got home from work, she wanted to change into something more comfortable and suddenly she noticed her work pants were covered in blood. Aunt Flo had arrived.

That explained the dizziness and headaches. Fiona threw her pants in the washing basket and cleaned herself up before she took some painkillers in preparation for the cramps to come. She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and suddenly felt a wave of sadness hit her. 'Why am I never good enough? Why can no one love me for who I am?' The first tear rolled from her eyes and she quickly wiped it away, moving towards the hallway to get her phone from her purse. She needed to talk to someone right now. Fiona clicked her best friend's contact and within two rings, she answered the FaceTime call. "Did you miss me already?" Maddie asked with a giggle because they had just said goodbye fifteen minutes ago. "I feel like shit Mads.." Fiona said and suddenly her friend's face turned serious.

"What's wrong babes?" She asked when she saw a few more tears roll over Fiona's cheeks. The brunette sat down on her sofa and curled her legs under her body. "It's just.. What if he doesn't like me at all? I mean.. You and Tobi have been boyfriend and girlfriend for a while now and I had to hide my feelings for two weeks in Bahrain and see some blonde girl all over him the entire time". Fiona was full-on sobbing at this point, but she didn't care. Madeleine had become her best friend these past few months and they had cried over FaceTime to each other many times before. "I don't know Fi, but I do know that he likes you a lot. He wouldn't say he loved you if he didn't.." The blonde girl answered, but Fiona wasn't buying any of it. "Miles said he loved me all the time and he was banging some other girl behind my back for months.."

The tears turned into anger now and Fiona stood up to pace around her living room. "And I also just got my period and only now noticed that I've been bleeding all day. My entire pants were covered.." It was just a shit day today and Fiona wanted it to be over already. "I'm sure no one saw anything. I would have told you if I did. And the pants are black anyway". Maddie tried to cheer her friend up but nothing seemed to work. "You really need to talk to George, babes. Only he can give you the answers you are looking for. I'll talk to you every single minute of the day if you need me to, but I can't give you anything else than advice really. All I know is that I see the way he looks at you. It's probably just hard for him to figure out as well". That only made Fiona angrier. "Why would it be hard to figure out? You either like me or you don't!" She was letting it all out now. "I'm sorry, Mads.."