Infatuated with a God

Chapter Thirty-Four

I winced and clutched my side as I limped slightly into the living room of the compound. I had hoped I would be able to just go to my room as I had already been sewed up on the flight back, and Sam had been injured worse than me. What I hadn't expected was to find Tony, Thor and Loki sat in the living room waiting for us to arrive. Tony must have received word of the injuries sustained and called for assistance in moving Sam to the infirmary. Thor rushed to my side to steady me, too tired to protest I let his arm slip around my waist and pulled mine around him. As soon as pressure was lifted off of my leg I felt much better, so there was no protest when Thor helped me to the sofa. A nurse from the medbay arrived and I glowered at Tony who just shrugged at me. My blood-stained combat shirt was lifted, revealing the hastily stitched line in my side. He worked at cleaning it up whilst I squeezed Thor's hand and winced in pain.

"I'm going to need to re-stitch this." The man stated and I groaned. Before I could insist that he left it how it was, Tony interjected.

"Kid, let the man do his job. No offence but the work you did was shoddy at best." I shot him a look of anger.

"Well, I think it was rather good with no training, no help and on a flight through a storm." I snapped back at him, but instantly regretted my anger. "Sorry Tony I'm just tired. I want to go rest." A tired smile hit his lips briefly.

"I know and you will soon. Just let him re-stitch the wound and then look at your leg."

I let the man work and forced my mind on to other things beside the pain. My eyes glanced over Loki reading rather uninterested in the events surrounding him. The book's cover was covered in leather with no distinguishable features on it. I was going to ask him what it was, but I didn't really feel like trying to make conversation at the moment. So instead, I leant further into Thor and focussed on how his hand felt over mine. It successfully grounded me in the moment and before I knew it the nurse was asking me to pull off my trousers. In any other situation I would have been hesitant to do so but wanted to get it over I complied. Knowing I wouldn't be able to move as much, the nurse aided me. As he did I felt seiðr thicken around me in the way it did when Loki was pissed, but as I looked up to him his position was the same. No hint of any emotion at all. I thought that I must be really tired to start feeling imaginary emotions in seiðr. I flinched as the nurse moved my leg, but he confirmed that it wasn't broken just strained and would heal quickly with rest. He cleared me and I went to make my leave when I heard some of the conversation between Tony and Steve.

"I'll give you a full report in the morning, Tony." Steve's voice was angrier and firmer than he usually was with Tony. They often behaved like a bickering married couple, but this felt different. I noticed Steve's eye glance in my direction slightly and sighed.

"It's okay Steve. It was my fault you can just tell him." I had no energy in myself to argue. And while the truth hurt it was the truth, nonetheless. He went to reassure me like he always did but I just held I finger up at him. "One of the agents got to me, Tony. It seems like every Hydra agent and their mothers know my trigger words now. My shield around Sam dropped by the third word and it allowed them to hit one of his wings. He still fought and one of them got to me before I could get with it." I stated it completely monotone, the events still yet to fully hit me. As I spoke Steve took his leave, heading towards the medical bay. I felt so vulnerable as I looked up at Tony. "H-have you made any progress on–"

"I'm sorry, kid." I sighed at his response but attempted to hide the extent of my disappointment. As much as it frustrated me that so little progress was made on getting this control out of my head, I knew that Tony would have been angrier at himself for not being able to fix the problem ahead of him. "I'm getting FRIDAY to access hidden documents on a similar programme run by the US but anything that had been digitised hasn't revealed much and I don't think they were nearly as successful." I nodded and then said goodnight. Thor offered to help me to my room, but I declined. Forcing more pressure on my leg than I should, I bit my cheek to try to ignore the pain as I made my way to the elevator. I sighed in relief as I opened my door, excited to finally rest for the evening. But then I noticed his presence behind me and sighed and I didn't hear the door click close.

I turned to see Loki stood with his hand on the door. In an instant he forced it open and stormed into my room. I groaned and went to complain but the look on his face silenced any thoughts I had. I was simply far too exhausted to be as angry with him as I normally was. He seemed pissed. I couldn't understand what happened so drastically between him being sat reading completely uninterested and now. The constant whiplash with him was as tiring as it was confusing.

"Show me." He spoke through gritted teeth and pointed at my side. Unable to say anything, I just lifted my shirt to show my wound. He came over to inspect it and his hand lit up in green. I jumped back slightly, not trusting him whenever he used his seiðr even though I knew his access to it was severely limited. "Stay. Still." He commanded and my body just complied. I couldn't explain it, there was something in his tone that reassured me through his anger. I felt his seiðr graze over my wound and held my breath partly expecting pain as it touched my wound. Instead, I felt the usual calming warmth. The tension in my body relaxed as the feeling washed over me and I began to sway slightly. With my eyes still closed I felt his arms steadying me on my feet before lifting me up and walking over to my bed. I knew deep down I should be on guard, he still couldn't be trusted, and I was leaving myself far too vulnerable.

"If you try anything..." I murmured to him, sounded not nearly as demanding as I wanted to. He chuckled softly in response and the sound felt so nice to my ears. It wasn't like his forced cynical laughter I was so used to, the kind he made when he was taunting anyone and everyone he could. It was lighter, calmer, more real. It was similar to how he had laughed on Asgard. I smiled at the sound as I settled into bed. I felt the pain in my side disappear and then the seiðr surrounded my leg. I sighed happily in response to the relief it provided.

"Who did this to you, elskan?" Despite the softness he forced in his voice I could still hear the strain behind it. I shrugged in response.

"Some Hydra thug... I think some agents brought him in." I felt the hair on my face get brushed away and tucked behind my ear. Tiredness had its claws firmly in me and I sighed contently at the contact. It reminded me of Asgard, of how gentle he had been on the mountain top and by the waterfall. I found myself wondering if this was the kind side I could have all the time. If the Asgardian Loki was who he would still be had New York not happen, had his jealousy not have poisoned his mind. It was a man I could still picture becoming friends with. I felt his hand smooth my hair gently as I drifted further and further into sleep. As I did I dreamt of the Loki that could have been, the one I wished he would allow himself to be on Midgard. One who cared for people, who healed their wounds and looked after everyone despite his limited access to seiðr. One who could love and be loved in return. The last thought on my mind was that maybe he could still change after all.