Infatuated with a God

Chapter One-Hundred and Two

Thor left just after his cryptic message, leaving Loki staring at me from just by the door after glaring at Thor until he pushed my door closed. Without looking at him, I walked over to my draws and pulled out some cotton shorts and a vest top before heading into the bathroom.

"I've sent word to Heimdall who will be informing Odin about your arrival too. Eir will be waiting for us when you get there." He called out, following me until my bed, where he sat on the edge of. The night had gotten to him too, and the desire to just forget about it and sleep was very present.

"Loki, I thought I made it clear that I won't be going."

"And I thought I made it clear that when it came to your safety I don't care. If I have to be the bad guy to keep you safe then so be it. This isn't up for discussion, Kaya." Emotionlessly, I stared at myself in the mirror, running my finger down the faded red line across the top of my forehead. I shook my head and I decided to ignore it, quickly dressing before reaching for a makeup wipe and walking back into the room.

"I'm not being forced anywhere, Loki. Especially considering you do not want me there."

"That just isn't true, Kaya."

"Don't treat me as a fool, Loki. You didn't want Thor to even suggest the idea. Now you've suddenly made arrangements after I declined? Which I only did for you, by the way, because trust me the last thing I want is to spend months alone in the middle of nowhere surrounded by guards."

"Ástvinur..." He whispered softly as he reached out to grab my wrist and pulled me towards him.

"I promise you it was not my intention to make you believe that I do not want you on Asgard. That is not what my issue was." His hand cupped my cheek as I leant my forehead against his. I wanted desperately to believe him but couldn't shrug off the feeling. As I began to wipe my makeup off, I felt his seiðr wash over me, noting that my hair fell out over my shoulders as he did. "The fact that you are in danger still remains, darling. You are safer on Asgard, that is what matters."

"This matters Loki. Why tell Thor not to suggest it?"

"Kaya–"

"Before I went to L.A. you stood here completely irate and went off on me about not asking you to stay. You were upset, even though you hate Midgard, even though I know you want to go back, you were upset. So don't just brush this off, Loki." His eyebrows furrowed as he cast his gaze down. It wasn't often that I noticed any nervous gestures from him, but he ran his thumb through the palm of his other hand as he thought over my words.

"You wanted to come to Asgard?"

"I... I don't know." And truly I didn't. Hearing Thor suggest it made me realise that I had wanted Loki to. Not that I knew I would say yes. Moving worlds was a lot, especially if the driving factor was someone I wasn't even officially dating. Hell, it was crazy to consider it. But there was something freeing about Asgard when I visited, and the more I considered it the less I found things to keep myself here. The painful truth was that I wasn't needed here. If anything I was just a detriment to people I loved.

"I was going to ask you–"

"Don't."

"It's the truth, Kaya. I wanted to ask you to come with me tonight, to spend time with me in Asgard whilst we figure things out. Not because you needed to be safe, not because you were running, not because of any of this. I was angry at Thor because I knew the moment this happened I could never convince you I wanted you there for any other reason." Christ his words made my heart ache, and yet there was a part of me that couldn't know for sure. I guess that's why he was so angry about the situation, knowing that the doubt would now always be there unless I actively searched for it in his memories. That was the last thing I wanted to do.