I can't tell her.
I have to tell her.
for fucks sake Holland you're supposed to be moving to New York with her tomorrow.
tell her when she gets home.
how do I tell her that in two months I will be here, teaching.
You're the Chair.... something you have always dreamed of being.
It's June now, August is when it all changes.
Maybe I could just stay with her for two months, and then tell her.
you can't do that.
you just need to tell her.
I couldn't stop my mind from spiralling.
what had I just done?
Had I given everything away for Sarah?
was I finally taking my life back?
or was I being selfish?
over think was all I could do. breathing didn't even seem important.
"oh fuck!", I heard from out side the door.
I climbed out of Sarahs bed, throwing on a robe before walking out to see a very drunk Sarah trying to stand up.
"let me help you honey", I laughed pulling her alcohol induced body into my arms
"that was such a fun party", she slurred
"oh I can only imagine", I smirked taking her into the bedroom
"you're so sexy", she mumbled, while I tried to undress her and get her into bed
"okay princess let's get you into bed", I dragged her body across the room
"I love you", she mumbled pulling at my robe
"I love you too, now I think you should get some sleep", I lay her down
"I'm hungry"
"I don't think that you should be eating any food", I pulled the covers up
"I want to eat you", she lazing growled as I lay down
"okay honey, sleep time", I let her rest on my chest
"I love your boobs", she breathed kissing the side of my breast
"come on", I pulled her mouth off of my nipple, turning her so that I could hold her from behind
"holland?"
"yes sweetheart?", I smiled against her shoulder
"I can't wait to move to New York with you tomorrow"
"yeah me neither", I lied
--
"look who finally woke up", I smirked sitting beside her
"I don't fell to well", she groaned
"no I wouldn't think so, here take these", I smiled handing her some pills and a glass of water
"thank you", she sat up "so what time is it anyway?"
"12"
"fuck, I'm sorry", she sighed
"don't worry about darling, I'm glad you had a good time last night", I caressed her cheek
"I really did", she giggled
