"okay so walk me through this",
"so filming starts back up again in June, we should finish around September, just in time for the Emmys-"
"well do the Emmys really matter?", I interrupted
"yes, because you are definitely winning for Lana, so we need that cleared", holland explained, quickly winking
"I don't even think that I will be nominated honey, but you're very sweet"
"don't hold you're breath angel, Lana was one of the best performances I've ever seen", holland spoke simply but it made me blush hard
"and after September?", I cleared my throat
"Ryan wants to start filming the next horror story season in January, so that leaves you a bit of a break"
"and then?"
"that's all I've got honey, maybe you'll never work again", holland joked, kissing my cheek before lifting off the couch into our kitchen
"is there any time in that schedule of yours to discuss what we talked about at the wedding?", I asked while my voice wavered
"you mean the baby thing?", holland said casually making me nervous
"um yeah", I looked down
holland took a deep breath before coming to stand in front of me taking my cheeks
"you know I love you right?"
"yes I do"
"then why are you so scared to talk to me my angel?", she concluded with her lips meeting my forehead before she sat down next to me
"I don't know", I breathed
"Sarah can I just ask you a simple question?"
"sure"
"do you want a baby?"
I opened my mouth to answer only to close it again
"answer", her stern voice seemed to echo through my head
"yes.. I want a baby", I whispered
"do you want a baby with me?", holland turned so we were directly face to face
"who else would I want a baby with", I took her hand "do you want a baby?"
"I love children, I just think.. I know that I would be a terrible mother-"
"I think you would be an incredible mother holland", I squeezed her hand
"I know you would be an incredible mother", holland smiled
"do you want a baby?", I repeated
"my biggest concern is that I'm too old to have a baby, and that the media would-"
"it's not the medias baby holland, it's ours"
"I know", she nodded sheepishly
"and you're not too old to have a baby", I cupped one cheek
"I'm fifty-seven darling", holland chuckled softly
"I'm twenty-five, I may be a little young to have a baby"
"yes, but if we wait till you're a reasonable age, then I'll be way too old", holland slumped further into the couch "I think I'm too old, what if the baby comes and I just can't handle it, what if I can't be a good mother because I'm restricted by the boundaries of ageing.. I couldn't handle that"
"well lucky that you're not raising this baby alone holland. the only thing that your too old for is carrying the baby", I moved closer, wrapping my arm around her waist, resting on her chest
"I wouldn't want to do that anyway, being pregnant would just freak me out", holland spoke while pulling me close
"I don't have that problem", I giggled
"I wouldn't even know what do with a baby"
"we would just have to figure that out together", I sat up lazily straddling her lap
"so it would you, me and a baby?", holland asked rhetorically, taking in the thought for herself "that sounds kind of scary doesn't it?"
"yes.. yes it does"
"and you would want that? carrying the baby? breastfeeding? being a mother?.. that would make you happy?"
"yes, but not without you. I can't loose you, and if having a baby means that you're going to leave me then I wouldn't even give it a second thought", I rambled even though every word was true
holland took a moments before lifting my shirt, gazing at my stomach
"you're going to get so big", she bit her lips still staring at my freckled skin
"holland", I whimpered as my eyes swelled with tears "are we having a baby?"
"you're going to get so big", she beamed before kissing me deeply, my arms instantly wrapping around her neck
"we're having a baby?", I choked
"yes my angel, we're having a baby", she held me close, running her finger through my hair
"are you sure? I don't want to-"
"princess look at me.. I love you"
short chapter I know!
BUT we're having a baby!
imagine if it was twins! ahahah
love you all Xx
