Eli had left for work, so it was just me, I didn't have any classes today.
I was laying down, staring up at the ceiling crying. My body was shaking and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
What had I done?
The only thing that made being with Eli bearable was pretending that he was Sarah.
Am I going insane?
Why was I doing this?
the thing is that before Sarah, I had never been lucky in love. No one had ever seen me the way that Sarah does.
I just don't think I'll find anyone else, but I can't bare to go back to her.
She was happy, filming, I had left her, made her cry.
I was too ashamed of myself to get her back, So Eli.... I just had to settle with.
Like most things in my life.
I'm getting too old for.. hope.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
--
Sarah pov
I had got off the plane, landing in New York, making my way back to the apartment.
I forgot how empty it was without holland. I hadn't seen her in three months.
I felt stupid as I walked around the place, thinking that she might be there. Hoping that it was all a dream.
I took a shower, got changed, letting my hair dry in its naturally curly state, before jumping in the car, not waisting a minute to get to Philadelphia.
I know it's holland, but I was still nervous, what if she didn't love me anymore.
It's a big risk that I'm taking, but so is completely giving up on her.
My love.
I rang the door bell after two long torturous hours in the car, going over what I should say, nothing felt right.
I thought she might be at school, but I wanted to try her house first.
"holland", I spoke as the door began to open
"Sarah", holland breathed in disbelief
"Holland I lov-"
"who is it babe?", spoke a man coming up behind her, pulling her into his side.
Holland hates being called babe.
holland just stood there
"I'm Sarah", I smiled shaking his hand "who are you?", I asked, not wanting to know the answer
"I'm Eli, Hollands fiancé", he greeted me brightly, making me turn numb
"fiancé", I swallowed
"yeah last night", he kissed the side of her head
meanwhile Holland just hung her head low
"well I'm very happy for you both", I smiled bitterly, walking off
"Sarah", I heard holland call weakly
I couldn't let myself cry until I was out of the street, but once I turned that corner, floods appeared.
engaged?.... to someone else.... a man.... to someone else.
someone else.
I couldn't process what I had just heard, but I was no stranger to the situation.
