"I'm sorry" she cried
"don't you dare be sorry my angel", I knelt down next to her running my fingers through her hair "this isn't your fault"
"but I couldn't give you a baby"
"you will. We will try again, and again if we have to"
"what if it doesn't work?"
"what happened to those happy thoughts hey?"
I quickly got changed before holding Sarah tightly from behind, her unending sobs making my heart fall
"oh darling what can I do?", I kissed her shoulder
"I want Amanda", she whispered
--
I woke up before Sarah strolling into the living room to call Amanda, Sarah of course having her on speed dial
'hi Bird', Amanda spoke into the line excitedly
'Amanda it's holland'
'Holland how are you?'
'umm yeah I'm okay, how are you?'
'you sound weird, is Sarah okay?'
'Sarah.. she um'
'holland just tell me, you're scaring me'
'Sarah had a miscarriage last night'
'oh god. I'm so sorry holland.. I didn't even know she was pregnant'
'she only took the test yesterday, but the doctor said that she would have pregnant for about a week'
'oh holland that's awful. how are you?'
'well you can imagine that Sarah isn't in a good state-'
'how are you holland?'
my breath hitched.
'I'm terrified. last night was so scary and I just want Sarah to be okay, so I need to be strong for her, I can't imagine how that must feel.. but I don't want to ramble on about me, Sarah said that she wanted you here last night and I-'
'I'll leave in ten minutes'
'I don't want you to drop anything-'
'I would drop everything for Sarah'
'thank you Amanda, I'm so sorry'
'don't you dare apologise, let's just focus on our girl okay?'
'yes okay'
'and take care of yourself too holland, she's not the only one who lost a baby last night'
'thank you'
'I'll see you soon'
'bye holland'
"honey?", Sarah yawned from the door frame, the oversized shirt hanging gently off her petite frame
"good morning my darling", I pulled her in for a hug as she walked over
"who was that?"
"Amanda, she's coming up"
"okay"
"how are you feeling princess?"
"I feel a bit dizzy, and my stomach hurts", she spoke into my sweater
"Erin said that you might feel like that for a few days"
"I know"
"do you want some breakfast?"
