"you had an affair with your teacher, moved into a New York penthouse, became a loved actress, and been with this woman for ten months?.... I feel like I've been living under a rock", she said the last part mostly to herself
"I was going to tell you", I looked at her chewing my lip
"were you?", she spat
I sat there for a moment, my vision falling into my lap.
would I have told her?
holland squeezed my hand.. I let it go.
"were you?", she repeated again in a more calm yet sad state
"yes", I replied, but my uneasy state made it hard to believe
"I need a minute", mom stood up walking out the door that lead to the garden, Oliver soon following behind
"sweetheart", holland said tucking some hair behind my ear
"I'm sorry", I quivered
"you have nothing to be sorry about my angel", she kissed my forehead
"I love you so much.. don't forget it", my voice wavered while I tried to suppress my tears
"I love you beyond anything darling", she brought me into her side to comfort me, running her fingers though my hair
"I think you should go talk to her", Oliver spoke making my jump slightly
"come on honey", holland cupped my cheek making me face her
"okay", I mumbled while holland kissed my cheek
I stood up slowly making my way up to my mother who was leaning on the railing by the water
"mom", I said from behind her
"why didn't you tell me?", she said with her back still turned to me
"I was scared", I admitted "I didn't think that you would understand"
"I just wish that you had told, I feel like we don't talk anymore", she faced me
"I know", I looked down
"I barely talked to you at graduation, or before or after.... I just want to talk to you, be a part of your life", she said with holding me in an embrace
"you are a part of my life", I sniffled, tears forming without warning
"not enough", she pulled back
"I'm sorry, you have no idea how much I wanted to tell you", I cracked
"well tell me now"
"you really want to know?"
"more than anything", she took my hand sitting down on the chairs
"well it started after I went on the trip to New York with holland. I had left my jumper in her car and I went over to her house to get it, and we kissed, so thats how that started. She saw my play and introduced me to Ryan Murphy who put in American Horror Story. I asked her to move to New York with me and she bought the penthouse"
"it sounds like she's given you everything", mom smiled
"she really has", I looked down blushing at the thought of my love "but then, it got dramatic!", I giggled
"tell me", she said excitedly
I told her all about Hollands engagement, and how we broke up and I wasn't able to get back to her. I told her all about filming and New York. I told her that she has to come see the house, that I was sorry.