"okay second leg there you go sweetheart", I encouraged after helping Sarah to shower and get dressed
"holland I don't feel well", Sarahs grip on my shoulders that she was using for support tightened
"I know darling let's get you back to bed", I stood draping her arm around my shoulder as we made our way through the room
"someone called Erin is on the phone for you?", Amanda popped her head through the door
"yep I'll get it", I nodded, pulling the blanket over Sarahs body before taking the phone "hi Erin it's holland", I began closing the door behind me
'hi holland how are you?'
'I'm fine'
'and how's Sarah?'
'she's just really tired and weak, still a little spotting but the dizziness has gone as well as the cramping'
'that's good. the spotting shouldn't last much longer and the tiredness is expected, her hormones are crazy right now', she spoke with enthusiasm
'yes I imagined so'
'listen I'm calling to ask about a second insemination. Are you to still wanting-'
'yes, more than anything', I let out a deep breath
'oh that makes me so happy, do you know how soon you would like to try again?'
'when is the safest time?'
'as long as the spotting stops, I want to bring her in just to take a look, but I am confident that her next cycle should be safe, considering how early the miscarriage was',
'I'll have to talk to Sarah about it, I-'
"talk to me about what?", Sarah spoke up as Amanda was helping her walk
'Wait Erin let me call you back I need to talk to Sarah.. okay yes, thank you, bye Erin'
"talk to me about what?", Sarah looked back over the couch in my direction
"how soon you want to have another insemination", I sat down beside her
"what do you think?", her glassy eyes found mine
"darling I just want you to be okay, not just physically but mentally as well. It's entirely up to you sweetheart", I cupped her cheek in my last words
"is it safe? I mean it's only been a week", Amanda chimed
"Erin said that once the bleeding stops, which she think will be soon, she'll want you to go in, just to make sure that everything is okay. She sounded confident that you should be okay by your next cycle"
"that's in two weeks", Sarah swallowed
"honey, we can wait as long as you want. I want you to be okay, I need you to be okay. there is no pressure for you to get pregnant now, or at all. okay?"
"okay", she nodded simply, I responded by kissing her softly
"can I lay in-between your legs?"
"always, come here", I moved back letting my arms wrap around her once she had settled
"Sarah what do you want to do?", Amanda asked
"I want to have a baby. I want to have our baby"
the heavy breath at the end of her sentence indicated that she was getting emotional
"I know you do darling, but-"
"I feel so stupid", Sarah cracked
"why do you feel stupid bird?"
"because I was only pregnant for a week. I had the miscarriage the same say I found out I was pregnant, shouldn't I just be over it and move on?"
"the length of your pregnancy has nothing to do with the process of losing a child"
"I only knew for like six hours though"
"it still hurt though sweetheart. And you always went through the long process of all the appointments and medication and the insemination. It's very tiring darling", I kissed the side of her head
"I think I just want to go in when the bleeding stops and see whats going on. I'll decide when I know it's safe", she spoke convincing herself more than us
"okay princess", I squeezed her tighter
"I think that's a good decision bird"
"yeah", Sarah sighed
"you okay darling?"
"I'm just tired"
"I know, shut your eyes angel"
"do you want to get up?"
"no I'll just hold you", I pulled the blanket that was laying on the floor, placing over the both of us
"I want to say thank you Amanda", I spoke quietly
"what for holland? I am happy to be here"
"I know but for everything. Not just this week, although I am beyond grateful to you for being here with her. But you have always been an incredible person.. in both of our lives. Even in college and all the things that we went through, you have always been there"
"I can't let my favourite couple in the world break up", she giggled
"you were always my favourite student you know"
"then why didn't you sleep with me", she joked
"you still have the same stupid humour Miss Peet", I laughed
"but you've always found me amusing"
"yes I most certainly have", I nodded
"Sarahs going to be okay, you know"
"I know. I just hate seeing her in pain"
"me too. But just imagine how much more sacred her pregnancy will be after this"
"that's a beautiful way to look at it"
"you're going to be incredible mother holland"
"you think so? I'm having trouble believing that"
"I have never seen anybody treat people the way that you do. the way you cared and respected every student individually was something special. And the way that you care for Sarah is incredible to watch. I know that you two have had your moments, but you're love for her.. is admirable"
"thank you Amanda. you don't know how much that means to me"
she bowed her head, smiling in the process
the baby is coming
I swear
im not lying
the baby is going to HAPPEN
yay
