A Very Personal Entry From My Diary.

Saturday, November 13th, 2010

Saturday, November 13th, 2010

5:10 pm

Dear Diary,

This is my forth diary. In the last diary entry, it was my first day back at {school}. A lot has happened since then.

First off: Tyler. Him and Ryan have become really close. Sometimes feel like I'm the third wheel. I try to ignore it ... but it just won't go away! I mean, ever since Tyler went to Ryan's house, they've been closer than twin brothers!

I know, I'm being silly and stupid, but the feeling just follows me around. I think that if it wasn't such a loud-talker, they'd completely forget about me. Nobody really notices me. If I missed a day, nobody would realize it.

Nobody would understand why I felt that way, probably. But, Tyler and I used to be soo close!! Now, it feels like there's a mile between us, and it's slowly getting farther. We're still pretty close, though.

Maybe if I was more exciting! Then maybe I'd fit in with them. I mean, Tyler's like the looney-toon life. Ryan's funny, an artist, and has a million pets! Not to mention that his family is exciting! - from what I hear.

And what am I? No one. When I first started a year ago ... I was that new, shy, quiet girl who caught Chris' eye. I was a nobody. Chris was known and feared! Once Tyler and I broke off from him, we became approachable. It was hardly any work, but we climbed our way back up.

That's really the end of that story. Later on, we became friends with Ryan.

Not that interesting, is it?

Yeah. And once Chris left, I became more talkative. I went back to being my old self.

See! I need to be more exciting! Then maybe I'll fit in with them!

Look at me. I'm not even counting myself as part of The Group. Yeah, we sorta call us that still.

I'm being so stupid. So melodramatic. Tyler and I are still friends. Gosh, I'm such an idiot.

I just like Tyler. I think everyone got to me. I mean, everyone says that we'd be perfect for each other ... but really? Are we? I guess we'll never know. Why? Because I'll probably never tell Tyler that I like him.

Sometimes I feel like screaming it to the world. To just tell Tyler that I like him, and see his reaction. Then, if he doesn't like me (which he doesn't) he won't ever remember. Sometimes I really just wanna tell him. Just to get it off my chest. Just so that he knew!

But, that can never happen. Tyler would never look at me the same. Plus (and I know this is a shallow thought) my reputation is being "one of the guys." I'm not supposed to crush on anyone!

I know. I'm a shallow, stupid girl. I'm a Drama Queen. I'm overly dramatic. I'm a dreamer. The list of flaws (other than that dreamer part) can go on forever. I'm full of 'em.

Well, I'm babbling. I'm sure you have a lot of better things to read about.

Love,

Aly