Saturday, April 23rd, 2011
9:19 am
Dear Diary,
You know one thing that really irritates me? Emos. I mean, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them, other than them “claiming” to be depressed. Maybe some of them are, but not all.
Depression is something that effects you every day. You can’t ever make it go away. Sometimes antidepressants couldn’t help.
Depression effects me. At the end of every day, I just want to beat myself up. Sometimes it’s so bad that I’ll start crying. Nobody outside of my family knows I’m depressed. My depression comes in the form of a voice. It points out all my flaws and failures, and no matter how much I try to ignore it, I can’t. It’s there to stay.
Sometimes it’s that voice that makes me want to cry whenever Tyler calls me a mean name, or says anything mean about me. It’s right there, whispering, “You know he’s right.”
Depression isn’t something you can ignore. It’s always there! It kills you from the inside out. It’s that thing that keeps you up all night crying.
You know how everyone says I’ve been so strong? Well, I don’t feel strong. I feel weak. I feel like every time Tyler or Josh {C.} say something mean, it’s like a physical smack to the face. It hurts. Really, really bad.
But, of course, to hide the pain, I clench my fist and avert my eyes. I get angry.
Sometimes I feel like the whole world is against me. I always have to remind myself that that’s untrue; but it’s still so hard.
Sometimes I feel worthless.
Sometimes I feel ugly.
Sometimes I feel like everyone I know hates me.
Love,
Alison
9:42 am
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I’m sorry if this offended anyone! Really am!
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A Very Personal Entry From My Diary.
Non-FictionThe truth of teen girls --- emotions, thoughts, and all the shallow drama of it.
