A Very Personal Entry From My Diary.

Friday, April 1st, 2011

Friday, April 1st, 2011

3:22 pm

Dear Diary,

Today, I finished Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. I wanted to cry right there in class. It was just an awful way to go … and for such a sweet young girl, too. If Anne had lived, then she would’ve done some very good things for everyone!

It also had me torn. Anne’s diary was so personal. I felt like she was some kind of friend … and then she died. I knew that was how the story ended, but it was still painful to read.

I’ve never lost a single family member or friend my entire life. Well, there was my uncle, but I was like three when he died. I don’t remember him. But, what if Sophie died? I’d be a wreck; I wouldn’t know right from wrong. I wouldn’t have a purpose in life anymore …

Okay, off the topic of death. Tyler’s a real jerk. He kept shoving everyone. Mr. Jack said that he was just playing, but nobody else was having any fun.

And Tyler’s trying to alienate everyone against me! Every time I correct him, he’ll call me “stupid.” Every time I stand up against him, he’ll call me “ugly.” Today he called me fat!

I’m just sick of it. I try to be strong and act like it doesn’t bother me, but I’m always close to tears. And nobody else ever tries to stop him. Nobody cares. And I don’t get why, ’cause I’ve tried my best to stand up for them and be their friend.

Is it really that nobody cares? Is he not gonna stop until I burst into tears in front of everyone?

I’m tired of being strong; I’m tired of pretending. I hate being called all these names, and being physically hurts, too. I want someone to actually start caring about how I’m feeling besides my mom.

You know, someday, when I do finally snap, I won’t be crying. I’ll punch Tyler square in the face. And I know that I’m so close, but he doesn’t.

Every day, I get up and think, “Today will be better.” But then Tyler walks in and makes fun of me.

This is the forth Friday when I’m fed up with him; the second Friday that I’ve come home crying. Tyler’s just gone too far, though.

I keep wishing that everyone would see what a jerk he’s become. I keep hoping that someone would start standing up for me; that I wouldn’t have to fight my battle alone. But then reality catches up, and I see clearly that nobody would see the pain that this war is causing me.

Why is it that whenever I do one mean thing, everyone suddenly hates me? Tyler’s a jerk to everyone all the time! Yet does everyone hate him? NO!

I guess I’m just tired of getting picked on; of feeling so helpless all the time; of this sense of loneliness. I’m the only girl in an all-boy class. I’m not always nice; I’m the smartest in the class. But every time I mess up, Tyler’s right there to humiliate me.

Would it really be unjustified if I punched him in the face?

Love,

Alison

4:01 pm