(Warning!- I write these late at night and I do not proof read them)
I get shaken awake from that god awful dream, Thank god. Slowly I grumble and open my eyes to see Tubbo looking right into my soul, fuck what did I do this time? Is he going to be mad about the stream yesterday, is he going to kick me out..? I mean I deser-
"Ranboo..?" Tubbo says breaking my train of thought, Tubbos voice sounded sad? Or concerned..? Or full of pity.
"Hm.. why did you wake me up, it's so early." I mumble to him, but then I realize that he's wearing my hoodie..
The same one I had on when I- oh no.
"What the FUCK is this?!" Tubbo raised his voice at me. I quickly apologize and put my arms in front of my head to block what ever punch he would throw at me.
"R-Ranboo? I not going to hurt you.. I promise." Tubbo says.
Slowly I put my arms down and see what he's holding, one of my razor blades. I fucking knew it,
now he's going to know, you have to come up with a excuse and a fucking good one.
"Uh what's the matter Tubbo..? And why do you have a razor blade in your hand?" I managed to say without my voice shaking.
"I don't know ranboo, maybe because it was in your hoodie pocket." Tubbo spit back at me, why was he so mad..?
"It might just have been in there from when I couldn't find scissors" I say calmly
'Keep your walls up, don't let them crumble. If they find out they will send you away, your fans will be disappointed.'
I knew I had more of them in my suitcase so I knew exactly what to say for him to think it was nothing.
"I don't really need it, you can just throw it in the bin"
Tubbo looked at me unconvinced, As well as really tired
"well then-" Tubbo yawned halfway through his sentence.
"In heading off to bed, it's like 1am.." Tubbo puts the blade down on his desk and walks slowly up to his room.
That was to fucking close, if they find out I don't know what I'll do-! I don't want to go to a mental hospital..
I stare at the blade that Tubbo left, and quickly get up trying not to make much noise, and grab it.
I hide it away in my suitcase with the others, then open my notes on my phone.
I scrolled through the note names until I found the one labeled: Tubbo.
I reread what I had before I add more,
Tubbo, your best/only friend.
So far you have told him nothing about your mental health.
You can be chill by him without him worrying.
Plan for when I unalive:
Write him a nice note on paper and send it to him, if you text him it he'll call the ambulance to save you.
Make sure to take to him plenty before hand so he doesn't know what's going on and doesn't get worried, and give him the Minecraft bee plushy you made him. MAKE SURE ITS AROUND 1AM WHEN YOU DO IT! that's the time he heads off to bed, Tubbo is very vocal about his problems, so if finds out everyone does. (Same with Tommy)
I add a little to the end saying:
Hide your wrists carefully when your around him, he found one of your blades and knows what your up to.
Then close it.
I put my phone beside me as I curled back up into the corner of the couch, making sure I had a blanket this time. Then falling back into the same stupid nightmare.
Tubbo's POV:
I can't believe I fucking acted to be tired, just to see if he would take that fucking razor back. Well I mean it's morning now so I can go check if it is still there. I didn't want to get up from my bed because I didn't sleep well last night, I mean who wound sleep after finding a blade in your best friend hoodie.
Ok, I'm done being tired.
I get up and go straight to the desk I put the blade on, as I guessed it wasn't there.
I sigh, I knew something was up with him, Now I just have to figure out what it is! I go over to the kitchen and start to cook breakfast, as it's my favourite meal of the day.
It took awhile to cook and make it look nice, but it was finally done. Hopefully Ranboo eats it..
He hasn't eaten anything since he's came here. But I'm hoping he wasn't hungry, or his emotions made him lose his appetite. I bring the plates over to my desk and place them down.
I grab ranboos shoulder and gently shake him awake.
Ranboo POV:
I feel myself get shaken awake again, why couldn't he just let me sleep for once! I mean I was having a somewhat good dream that I wanted to finish. "Mmmmm...five more minutes..." I mumble to him.
"No boss man, it's already like 9 Am! And I need your help planing out the day!" Tubbo says sounding rather happy. That's good! I'm glad he didn't bring up what happened yesterday, it makes me panic every time I think about it.
I mean who wouldn't! My face- I mean only half of my face got leaked but I mean it was still my face.
"You good Ranboo-?" Tubbo says.
"Let meee sleeppp.." I mumble back.
"No! It's already late enough. You need to at least how a somewhat good sleep schedule- pleaseee" Tubbo whined
Suddenly I feel myself getting violently pulled up.
"Cmon! Up!" Tubbo says. He sounds like a toddler.
"Fine, but I'm not going to help you plan anything. I kinda just want to relax today.. is that ok with you..?" I asked in a nervous tone.
"Yep! That ok. We can make plans for tomorrow though.. right..?" Tubbo reassures me.
I nod
"Ok! We can make plans well we eat breakfast!" He says.
Fuck no he's not going to make me in front of him, right..?
"B-breakfast..?"
This is going to be a long 3 months.
A/N!
Shorter cringe chapter sorry!
Remember to stay hydrated, hope you have a good day/night!
word count 1040
YOU ARE READING
Words hurt ||Ranboo angst||
Random*WARNING THERE ARE SPELLING ERRORS, so SUCK IT UP.* Ranboo has a hard time dealing with his emotions, and often puts others before himself, he develops unhealthy coping mechanisms early on in his childhood, and his life starts to seem meaningless...
