Words hurt ||Ranboo angst||

||18|| wishing wont be enough

(Warning!- I write these late at night and I do not proof read them! Also, a odd chapter..?)

I left my fucking discord on, is that where that voice came from..?
So someone definitely heard me, this won't go down well. I carefully make my way though my mess of a room, dodging all the piles of clothes and razor blades littered around my room, getting closer to my pc I see that both my camera button and mute button were white.. that meant left my camera on to.
So someone decided to join the call AFTER I was done streaming so they didn't talk to me, and heard me get F***ED by my own father! Then watched me cut myself. How wonderful..
I sit down on my chair and place my headphones on my head, and heard technos voice.. I really am done at this point I can't even fucking keep it a secret from him. Wow how stupid.
"Hello?" I mumble into the microphone
"Ranboo! ARE YOU OK?!" techno yells back at me
"Yep! Why do you ask?" I fake smile on the camera. 
"Ranboo don't put on that ack, I saw everything." He says.
Wow I can't do anything right.  I smile again, "I don't get what your saying techno? I haven't said or done anything!" I say looking back at the camera, time to start putting those gas lighting skills that dad taught me to use!
"Uh yes you did? I'm sure I saw and heard you?" He says confused, it might be working? Just need to try harder.
"I haven't done anything, may I ask what you think what you saw..?" I say lacing my voice with tones of confusion.
"Um..? I heard you and your father fighting then some unholy noises. Then you came running in here and harmed yourself then passed out..?" He say looking even more confused. Good I'm finally good at something I guess that's good! "I never did any of those things techno..? Are you sure your ok? You seem a bit tired.." I say sympathetically
Making sure to look a bit worried. I knew he couldn't really see me well because my lights were dimmed.
"I haven't really slept well so maybe I am..? But just to make sure can you.. please roll up one of your sleeves?" He says.
Fuck, I didn't think this far ahead, I'm right handed so my right arm doesn't have as much cuts and they are mostly healed? I roll down my right arms sleeve revealing light red lines, small enough that they wouldn't show up on camera, but I'm glad I found out that this arm is almost empty. I mean that means more room for me to get out my feelings.
"See? No harm of any sorts..!" I say with a even more fake smile on my face. He Seems to not enjoy being around me. Maybe it's better that way, again I need to make sure more people don't get attached to me. I should just leave him alone. Don't want him yelling at me.. "Oh ok.. sorry about that. Must have fallen asleep and had a dream then.."
he says looking utterly confused "it's ok! Just please go and get some sleep ok..? I need to go and make myself some..food. See you later!" I say right before leaving the call abruptly, making sure he had no time t9 reply on the fact the I hesitated on saying food. I guess I did confused him into thinking he was wrong though.. I get up and go downstairs to grab myself some water..

Technos POV:
wow, he's really smart. Like to the point were I'm even more worried. I could hear the slight hesitations in his voice, he normally doesn't do that. Along with the extremely complex words. Well not really, but they were more thought out then his regular speech patterns. He wasn't stuttering but he did sound a bit off..
he was definitely faking that. He's right handed right... so that means it's harder for him to cut his right arm, that's why he showed it to me, because he knew it would have less.
He also tried to gaslight me into thinking I was seeing things or that I fell asleep.
Im glad I did contact Wilbur about this.
Phil wasn't available so he was the next contact. He didn't seem surprised..? Which was odd, will shouldn't know anything to my knowledge..? But when I told him he just sighed and said some random shit didn't reply after that.
It's like he knew already.
I just need to figure out how to help him..

Ranboos POV:
Dad came home again.. he didn't go easy.. he did the same thing as last night.. I thought he only did this when I was being a ass. But I was being the best I could be, doing all the chores and making sure I don't cry or scream when he.. is a bit violent with me.
But I have to remember that.. THIS IS NORMAL. RIGHT..?
then why does no one else say it is! It should be common sense to teach this in like school..? That every child should 'help out' their parents..
..god I'm so fucking done..
I mentally slap myself. This is normal, this is fine!
I don't really like the word fine, it makes it sound more fake and forced but it's the best I can do.
I'm suddenly picked up my the collar of my shirt, making it incredibly difficult to breathe.
"DID YOU EVEN FUCKING HEAR ME?! I ASKED YOU A GOD FORSAKEN QUESTION!" my father screams in my ear, causing it to ring.. ow..
"No sir, sorry.." I say quietly
"DONT ACT SO NIEAVE, that's fucking it I was trying to be nice but your being more of a mistake then normal.. you know what fuck this." He picks me up and drags my upstairs well mumbling degrading things to me.
Then it fucking dawns on me.. oh fuck..
I can't say a word or he'll add another day, if I'm lucky it will be less then a week.. but I don't think I'll will that good.
My father opens the linen closet and throws me in, it was small, some of the things in it were removed to make room for me, there also was a small box that I hid in there that had snacks so I didn't die. Along with water bottles.
He slams the door on my face and a head a soft click. Well.. it's going to be a long couple of days..

"Let's hope no one notices..."

A/N
WEEEOEO
CHAPTER DONE!! hope you all are having a good weekend, and that it's going well your all of you!
Remember you are loved even though it might not feel like it, and that my dms are open if you ever have ideas for the book or just need someone to talk to! :D
ALSO! PLEASE stay hydrated and please get some sleep?
GOODNIGHT :D

Word count! 1182