(Warning!- I write these late at night and I do not proof read them)
"This is worse then I thought.."
Dear Phil
I'm starting off with your because I've always seen you as a father figure. Thank you for trying to help me though my break downs and panic attacks, it means more then you will ever know. This is none of your fault, it's no ones fault! And if I'm going honest, I'm just to weak to deal with it anymore. Everyone seems to be doing their own thing and I always get left behind, but your always their. No matter how much I told you that 'I was ok.' You still helped. Say goodbye to your wife for me ok..? Have a good life!
Dear Wilbur,
Hello Wilbur, I'm sorry for using your medication to kill myself. I didn't really have any other choice. Today was the day I was planning and I couldn't fail at another thing, your aloud to take some of my money to pay for it if that's ok.
I wish we could have hung out more, I always felt like I could relate to you. But you never bothered to talk to me or interact with me at all. It was always 'Tubbo are you ok?' And 'Tommy don't do that.' And when I ever did anything nice for you I get a quick thanks. I just wanted to ask for help with my panic attacks because I heard you had them a lot in the past, and I'm guessing the medications was for that..?
Please take care of Tommy and Tubbo for me please..?
Dear Tommy,
To start this off, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to steal Tubbo from you, and now you can have him all to yourself again because I'm out of the way. I was selfish for being friends with Tubbo. I shouldn't have even thought of being friends with him. I wish I didn't take your friends just please forgive me for being so selfish. Maybe we could have been better friends in a different time line, but that's was never meant to be. I wanted to help you and Tubbo because better friends by 'removing' myself from it. Make sure to take care of Tubbo for me, he needs a brother figure, and I couldn't be there for him when he was there for me, so I really hope you can do a better job I every have done for him..
Dear Tubbo
You saw this coming so don't be surprised, I know you made notes about everything that was 'odd about me' and then you heard me throw up, you didn't bother to do anything and I don't blame you. I'm not worth it, I don't get why you decided to waste your time on me, what did you even see in me to stay friends with me for this long!
It honestly baffles me, you have Tommy he's a hundred times better than me! But you choose me.
And I hope you figure that out once I couldn't mask my emotions anymore, and you ended out finding me
Bleeding on the floor, with a razor blade beside me.
Anyways I hope you have a good life, you deserve the world. Your the best friend I could ever ask for and I hope
that you won't miss me, I don't deserve for people to miss me. I did nothing to help anyone. I love you platonically.!
Sincerely -Ranboo~
I need to tell Phil about this..
Tubbos POV:
It's 3am, and I wake up from my phone vibrating. I slowly turn over and grab it to see who was calling me. It was my mother..? Why is she calling me at this time. I pick up my phone, and get up. Making sure to not bump into anything and wake anyone up- because it is late!
I make it outside and see Wilbur asleep with Ranboo on his lap, adorable.
I walk a bit away from them so they don't wake up.
I pick up the phone.
"Hello..?" I say, my voice raspy from just waking up.
"Hello Tubbo." My mother says seriously. Oh no.
"I have some bad news. Ranboo isn't aloud to say at our house anymore. He's been a bad influence to you and your sisters. Especially with the whole cutting thing. We have booked him a flight home it leaves on Sunday. We have also contacted he's father, he says Ranboo can not stay here any longer because of this. I'm sorry but it's for your own good." She says, her voice sounded numb, like it was ripped of all its emotions a long time ago. I couldn't speak, there was nothing a could say to stop this. And if I argue with her she'll make me sleep in the garden.
"I-I.. what the fuck mom.." I say shocked. I didn't want him to leave, and he's not in a good mental state!
I know for a fact his parents aren't home most of the time and when he's alone he'll starve himself and hurt himself.
And I know his parents aren't the best at showing love, there not the best at doing anything. Thinking about his parents, he never talked about them.. and he always left the call after I heard a door slam., then he came back and wouldn't take off his mask at all, it was like he was hiding something from me.
I hang up.. And just stand there dumbfounded. He just got here and now he has to leave. I don't want him to, I want to help him! He would listen to me if he's back in the us! I slowly turn around and look at Ranboo. His face looked tear stained..? And Wilburs face was also tear stained. I should ask will about that in the morning, I walk over to the camper door and slowly open the door, making sure to be quiet. I walked back to my sleeping bag and slowly climbed back in.
I put my phone back out beside me, and I try to get comfortable.. but one thing kept coming across my mind..
"How will Phil and Wilbur react to this...?"
A/N
SORRY FOR LACK OF UPDATES! IM BUSY WITH SCHOOL SO-
Anyways! Hope you have a good day/night and remember- to listen to the new love joy ep!
No really, make sure to stay hydrated and get yourself a little snackie :D
Word count! 1088
YOU ARE READING
Words hurt ||Ranboo angst||
Random*WARNING THERE ARE SPELLING ERRORS, so SUCK IT UP.* Ranboo has a hard time dealing with his emotions, and often puts others before himself, he develops unhealthy coping mechanisms early on in his childhood, and his life starts to seem meaningless...
