Dig My Grave

Chapter 5

GUSTO ko nang umalis. Pero hindi ko kaya. Nakakarinig ako nang mahihinang hikbi, kaya hindi ko dapat pairalin ang pagiging duwag ko.

Panay ang lunok ko nang laway habang hinahawi ang matataas na sanga at mga damo.

Nilingon ko pa ang sasakyan ko sa hindi kalayuan. Itinulak ko iyon sa tabi, medyo tago iyon at hindi nakaharang sa kalsada para hindi magsanhi ng aksidente kung may daraan man na ibang sasakyan.

Napa-usal ako nang iilang dalangin habang papunta sa madilim na parte.

My eyes adjust well to the dark. I can almost see clearly like how I did in broad daylight.

Maingat ang mga hakbang ko at hindi hinayaang magsanhi nang tunog ang bawat kong yapak.

Napatigil ako nang muli ay marinig ko ang mahihinang hikbi mula sa hindi kalayuan. Nagmadali akong makalapit ngunit agad ding natigilan.

Ang takot at pagka-duwag ko ay napalitan ng ibang emosyon. Agad na lumambot ang aking ekspresyon sa tagpo na aking naabutan, bumigat ang puso ko at kasabay nito ay ang pagpungay at paglulumikot ng aking mga mata.

I turn my gaze at the opposite direction and refused to watch her, but I stayed in place. Behind the tall grasses and twigs. I stayed, unmoving. Trying to stay beside her, without her knowing it.

Every whimper and sob that comes out of her mouth is like a sharp knife repeatedly stabbing my heart.

Gustong manlambot ng mga tuhod ko. Gusto kong tumakbo papunta sakaniya. Yakapin siya, aluin siya, haplusin ang buhok niya...pero lahat iyon ay sinarili ko dahil alam kong pinili niya ang lugar na ito upang walang makakita sakaniya.

My River. My strongest soldier, my stone hard fighter. The only light who illuminated my gray world. The always pretending to be tough and nonchalant, heartless woman I used to love. I love, and I will love. Now in the dark, alone, hugging her knees and sobbing like a child...

What else could make a grown man's heart shatter than seeing his lady cry a river? Well, knowing that he can't do anything to make her feel better, I guess.

Para akong kandila na natutunaw habang nakikinig sa mahihinang pag-iyak niya.

Sinubukan kong tumingala ngunit pati ang mga bituin ay tila nakikiramay at tumatangging magliwanag sa kalangitan ngayong gabi.

I'll forever remember this night. This place, the stone where she sat while crying in front of a lake. The little light provided by the moon and the abscence of stars in the sky. With nothing but trees, silent night, and two aching hearts.

KINABUKASAN ay para akong walking dead. I don't even know how manage to reach my unit last night. All I remember is, I was catching my own breath as I open my door after running for so long. Hilam ang mga mata ko sa luha at nakatulog ako sa sofa habang pigil ang mahihina kong hikbi.

Nahigit ko ang sariling hininga nang makasalubong ko ang babae na pumuno sa isipin ko magdamag.

She's wearing her normal attire. A tight jeans, boots, dark green sando and her curly hair is down but, a thick jacket is also hanging on her shoulders. She stride forward like a predator trying to approach her prey. She walks, as if nothing ever happened to her.

My River...

Sa bawat pagtama ng boots niya sa sahig ay nahihigit ko ang aking hininga. I took my time getting hypnotized by her worth dying for eyes. Her strong appeal and over-flowing confidence in every steps she take, captured me and took my breath away effortlessly.

Just like that. I fell, over again.

It's me and my foolishness against her. I love her so much, I couldn't take my eyes away from her sharp and lazy eyes.