Dig My Grave

Chapter 34

HAVE you ever been in a situation where you're surrounded by a lot of people but, a certain person in that room get your attention like crazy so, you decided to lock your eyes on that person the whole time and ignore everyone around?

Someone asked me that question once. That time, I have no idea at all. I use to think that this scenario is impossible because, I am always paying attention. So during those time...I answered saying "No, I haven't" with the coldest and almost no reaction in my face at all.

Kaso putangina. Nararanasan ko ito ngayon mismo.

"Welcome back, 009!"

How could he stood there with the other operators and smile? How could he greet them casually with the most stupid smile on his lips and still look handsome?

Someone said a joke and my lips twitched when he laugh, holding his stomach. Nag-iwas agad ako ng tingin at nagpanggap na may hinahanap sa aking locker.

Tulala ako kanina sa meeting. Ngayon namang nakalabas na kami sa office, aligaga ako. Nang matapos ako magpanggap na busy ay sinarado ko na ang locker ko na wala palang laman.

Tumalikod ako at lalakad na sana kaso napahinto ako dahil sa pagtawag niya sa akin.

"River!"

Don't come near me, I'm begging you...

Mariin akong pumikit at ang mga kamao ko ay kusang kumuyom. I put on a cold expression in my eyes before I finally turn to look at him.

His head is a bit tilted to the side. His eyes sparks with so much emotion and though his lips are not smiling, I can see a glint of relief and happiness in his eyes.

Medyo humaba ang tuwid niyang buhok. Ngayon ay malaya nang bumabagsak sa kaniyang noo ang bawat hibla nito. Mas lalong kumuyom ang aking mga kamao, matindi ang pagpipigil ko na haplusin ang kaniyang buhok.

"Sorry for not calling you while I'm gone, Ilog. Sensiya na rin kasi medyo natagalan ako." he blessed me with his warm smile and I took every piece of it like a gift coming from heaven.

Pinagmasdan ko ang mukha niya at tinitigan.

Hindi ako makapaniwala na sa ganitong paraan siya babalik. Biglaan, walang pasabi. Bigla nalamang lumitaw at nagpakita sa amin.

Now I wonder, is he really out the whole time? O matagal na siyang nakauwi, hindi lang nagpapakita sa amin? Whatever it is, labas na ako roon.

Alam kong sasabihin niya sa akin kung gusto niya. Kung ayaw niyang malaman ko, maiintindihan ko. Karapatan niya naman iyon. I respect his decisions.

Besides, I got my own secrets, too. Kaya patas lang.

I remain stiff, maintaining the current cold expression in my face. Binasa niya ang labi gamit ang sariling dila bago muling nagsalita.

"I know that I ghosted you for months...but I'm here now" hindi nabura ang ngiti niya sa labi.

Pinagmasdan ko siya. My head tilted to the side when he spread his arms wide as if telling me that I could hug him if I want.

Kami nalamang ang naririto. Umalis na ang lahat. Sarado na ang pinto at ang parteng ito ay walang camera sa paligid. Sa madaling salita, safe.

Hindi naman sa nagatatago. Pero ayaw kong may makakakita. I'm not comfortable having anyone watch us.

Kinamot niya ang ulo saka ngumiwi.

"Galit ka pa ba?" lumabi ito nang walang makuha na sagot mula sa akin.

I was fighting the urge to pull him in a tight hug.

Lumaylay ang balikat niya sa sismaya. Nang hindi ako kumilos at patuloy lang na pinagmasdan siya ay nakita ko na ang pag-aalangan sa mga mata niya.