Bastille Imagines

Always There

You know.

You know the difficulties of coping with the feeling of being so madly in love. Why it's difficult: because they don't love you back.

You know that it's wrong to love your best friend who is, and which just so happens to be in your misfortune, taken. Happily taken. You were informed with the devastating news 2 years ago and ever since you've lived with the ache that has continued to increase your affection for him. It pains you every time you see them together, you see his eyes flicker with passion every time he looks at her. Her beauty strikes everyone and not just Dan, everyone could see why he loves her so much.

But you've always been there for him, every heartbreak, every tragedy, every emotional moment of his life, any time he's needed you, you're always there. You often reminisce of your youthful years when us was just you and Dan, and not 'Anna'. A period of time where you didn't consider topics such as love and romance, only friendship was worth of your knowledge and not the difficulties you face as a mature adult. As much as you try to resist and limit your availability for providing Dan with advice you simply can't. Even when he dares ask for advice to win Anna's heart once more but you feel compelled to make him happy.

You're convinced that she is the one. The one he is bound to spend the rest of his life with. She's everything you could ever possibly want in a girl; a cheerful, charismatic personality, has the figure of a model and the appearance of an angel. You rarely stand in the same room with her, you feel too embarrassed with your appearance that you can't stand to be compared to her. And, when possible, you remain as far away from her as you can.

Your Sunday afternoon is spent watching programmes that would occupy your interest until you found something better. You sit comfortably taking sanctuary in the big, thick blanket that cocoons you in warmth until 3 steady knocks echo from your door. You turn off your TV and reluctantly untangle yourself from your sanctuary to answer the door. You meet with a teary-eyed, sobbing Dan blankly standing at your doorway.

"Dan?" you say, trying to catch his attention as if he's forgotten where he was.

"I'm sorry." He dries his tears, landing back into reality. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." You let him in without any inconvenience, preparing yourself for whatever problem Dan has wound up facing. You spin round to see him sprawled across the sofa, still sobbing.

This is worse than you expected, but nevertheless you will always be 'the shoulder to cry on'. That will never change.

"Scoot," you mumble trying to reclaim your spot on the sofa. He grudgingly moves for a split second giving you enough time to sit before slumping his head back onto your lap.

"I always fuck things up."

Great, what relationship advice must you give now? Dan and Anna haven't getting along well these past few days as rumoured by Kyle. But it's always the same: they fall out, Dan comes to you for advice on how to fix his relationship, you provide, and then they're back together again. Just like that.

"You don't. Where did that come from?" you gently ask, stroking the fine strands of hair and gliding them through your fingers. It's when he's in a time of need that he unintentionally teases you; places his head your lap, cuddles up to you on the couch, all these things you wish you could do all the time and not when he uses you as a makeshift therapist.

"Anna broke up with me," he bluntly explains, desperately trying to hold back the next wave of sobs. For a brief second you buffer, taking your time to process the newly found information as if it would change your world. Despite having dominated by jealousy you notice a slight pang of sadness in your chest. They've always been together. Now, that's no longer the case, and has left Dan is a moping mess.