Bastille Imagines

Teddy's For Memories

"So I got the job." You mutter quietly. You smile for split second until the thought that maybe this isn't a good idea weighs it down. Dan was always good at listening, he never judged you no matter what the circumstances and that's what you loved about him. As a matter arises you stand in front of him waiting for some sort of response but he gives you none, so instead you carry on.

"The job is in Florida, it's great. I mean, the pay is decent, they're providing accommodation for me and it's everything I could ever want in a job. It's an opportunity I can't give up." You ramble on, but as your mind reminds you of the very reason why you came here, the muscles all over your body strain at the dread of telling him the worst of it. "Although, the only thing is..." you buffer, swallowing that lump in your throat. "I'll be away from you."

You cower, head sinking low into the warmth of your scarf. The hypocrite that you are, you remember moaning and protesting to Dan about the once-in-a-lifetime trips around the world that his career would take him on, abandoning you for months on end. And now, the fact that you've approached him telling him that your dream job has came in the way between the both of you, expecting him to be supportive of you, drowns you in guilt.

"I know that something like this will never arise again but before anything happens...I want your approval." You announce, your lip trembling with anticipation. You hope that he can find it in his heart to reassure you that he's onboard with you fulfilling your lifelong dream despite the lack of support you showed him when he was in a similar situation. You're so desperate for him to accept what you so humbly ask of him, you can almost imagine his voice saying the words in your head.

'Of course. Don't let me stand in the way, follow your dreams. I'm right behind you every step of the way.'

You smile upon hearing his soft voice again, almost heart-warming and mesmeric. If you were to take up this offer, the chances that you would keep in touch of Dan were slim, almost close to nothing. So far away. Why did it have to be so far away?

"I'll miss you, y'know." You take a few steps closer to him. "I still remember the first time we met when we were 5. I remember the little teddy you refused to let go of on the first day of school because you were so scared. You loved that thing. Couldn't separate you from it. And I told you that I had a matching teddy bear...just like yours. Now...21 years on, here we are. All because of a teddy bear."

You stifle a sniff as tears line your eyes, the swelling of the lump in your throat becoming more prominent as you struggle to keep your emotions under control. You don't want to leave him, you don't ever want to say goodbye.

You take a minute to close your eyes and let the images of the memory you hold dearest flash in front of you. Oh how you wish you could re-live them again. How are you ever going to say goodbye?

The worst thing is? You already have.

You approach the ice cold stone and trace your fingertips over the engravings, marking the everlasting memory of Dan. His name sculpted clear into the porcelain white, marble headstone along with the remembrance comment below.

'Here lies Daniel Campbell Smith, cherished and loved by many.'

You allow that one rebellious tear to roll down your cheek thinking now that this shouldn't be here. This should not bear his name. He was just too young. Mustering up the bravery and encouragement you came with, you rifle through your bag until your hand meets something so soft and fluffy; your childhood teddy bear, identical to the one Dan owned as a child. You set it down beside the grave before you bid farewell for the last time.

"I thought you might want some company while I'm away. I won't forget you, Dan. I-I guess this is goodbye." You whimper. Taking a deep breath in, you turn and walk away from the very place you visited every day for a full year. Before it drops off your cheek, you catch that tear soaking your face reminding you what you are doing, enforcing emotional pain atop of what you are already feeling.

Just before it becomes too overbearing for you to carry on, a strong gust of wind pushes you another step forward towards your dream job. You can't help but to think of that as an indication of Dan's approval; motivating you, pushing you forward and supporting you all the way. You can almost hear it inside your head.

'I'm right here, love. Always.'