Behind the Fake Smile *completed*

Behind the Fake Smile

It's the first day of school and I am determined that this year will be the best year in high school. I'm hoping that everything will change; my friends, my attitude towards school, homework and how I act.

Everything about me is hopefully going to change but only slightly, so that people are starting to have a glimpse of the real person I am. Hopefully, they will forget about their original perception me.

I seemed so innocent to them so that if an argument occurred, they would defend me since they think that I'm too petite to try and stand up for myself. I wasn't the most popular girl in school nor was I the most liked, but I don't plan on changing my popularity, just their attitudes towards me.

I walked down the street in my navy blue uniform, revelling in the cold, fresh air. Summer was over and so had the days where it feels like your skin was slowly melting off.

The trees are celebrating the end of summer in a riotous celebration of living colour making every step of mine result in another satisfying crunch as I stood on crisp, vibrant leaves.

Summer was nice but it really wasn't the best season. For me, it's just a time for girls to show their body and bring the self esteem of others down knowing that they would never be able to pull off a cropped top without being called a name suited for the street walkers.

I arrived at school with a couple of minutes to spare, I walked down the school driveway careful not to trip over the odd flagstone jutting out, waiting all summer for it's next victim.

At the end of the school driveway were some eager students all chatting happily amongst each other, I saw a group of girls all giggling with each other about their summer holiday and greeting each other with huge bear hugs acting like they haven't seen each other all summer when they have actually met up on more than one occasion. I quickly walked past them, averting my gaze.

You would think that I would be used to it, but I couldn't stop thinking whether my friends actually liked me or if they valued me as a tag-along and a person to go to if you need to copy their homework. I hoped I meant more, but I doubted it.

They hardly talked to me so I don't think that I could call them friends. I didn't choose for them to be my friends- they wanted me to be their friend! I was the new girl three years ago and when I came, they stayed with me and wouldn't allow me to socialise as much with others. A year later, the novelty of having the new girl as a friend wore off and they've treated me as if I was a faceless person whose opinion has no value towards them.

I saw my real group of friends, the one's that talked to me and said hello to me. The ones who know when somethings wrong. The ones who aren't afraid to give me a hug. I like to call them my real group of friends because they have a glimpse of who I really am inside and not who I protray myself as to others and they realise this even though I don't talk to them all the time.

They all stood in a small circle talking and laughing amongst themselves. I smiled as I approached them and when I did, Kirsty gave me a tight hug, I hugged her back smiling broadly.

Although I hold them dear to my heart, I can't say that the feeling is mutual. They respect me but they don't ask to meet up after school hours. Surely I deserve to have that relationship with someone and who knows, maybe I'll find them during my school social crusade.

The bell for registration soon rang and I started to make my way to form, I walked by myself towards the senior block which was on the other side of school.

I went to Klighton High School and believe it or not, my school wasn't built originally for a High School, instead it was supposed to be for some offices but due to the lack of High Schools in the area, they decided to make it into one.