Behind the Fake Smile *completed*

Behind the Fake Smile Cp33

I sat in the tree house staring at the electronics that mocked me. I sat, cross-legged, scowling at it. Ever since I had found out how everything electronic worked in here, I've been refusing to use it unless he disconnects everything. The only reason why he hasn't already is because he said that if he did disconnect everything then I wouldn't be able to play it anyway so for him it was a lose-lose situation and he seemed more than confident that I would give into temptation and play them. It's been almost three weeks since I stopped and I couldn't have picked a worse time.

Since I've been suspended, I've been at home lying in bed. I couldn't go anywhere since there wasn't anywhere to go and no one to go with. My parents were at work so I was alone and since I didn't fancy staying in the house the whole time, I went to the tree house where I would have an endless, pointless staring competition at inanimate objects.

I turned my back on them, defeated, and began playing solitaire by myself. I had about fifteen minutes before Michael was going to meet me here and I've been waiting for him for about two hours. In those two hours I played two unsuccessful games of solitaire and a game of snap. I don't think that I need to say who won. I threw the deck of cards on the floor, I just couldn't play solitaire. None of the cards I needed show up because they were behind the cards displayed on the floor.

I stood up and walked towards the window and breathed in cool fresh air. It was surprisingly warm for the middle of January, the sun shone strongly and there was only a faint blow of wind that blew occasionally and even the wind was pleasent. I looked up at the clear blue sky and thought about how so much had changed. I laughed to myself and patted my back for being such a good liar. It was quite an achievement that I've hidden something as large as this from my best friend.

I remember back in September when I first met him. I think it must have been two days after knowing his existence when my mum and dad told me of the interview that would determine whether or not they could adopt or not. I tried to hide the fear and anxiety that immersed me from everyone and Michael had immediately spotted it despite him knowing me only a few days. Either I was a terrible at hiding my feelings then or Michael was exceptionally good at picking up my emotions.

A low chuckle escaped my lips when I remembered the unspoken vow to myself that everything was going to change this year, but gradually. I guess it had in a way. I've become more open and got myself a really good group of friends that I could be myself around: the girls from youth and Michael and his friends were quite good friends with me too.

My eyes widened, it seemed like Annafree has stopped talking to me as well. I guess she was just a friend for when I had none but now I have some, she went realising that I didn't need her anymore.

I didn't expect to develop cancer and discover it only when it threatened my life so much that it came to a point that it was untreatable. To be fair, I have been holding up pretty well. I've stopped crying myself to sleep. I've stopped wondering who's going to miss and care about me when I'm gone. I've stopped wondering how people will react at school at the news of my death. I've stopped wondering whether or not they'll think of me in the future.

Overall, I've just stopped thinking about the future and more of the present. When I first found out that I was going to die of cancer, I first thought that I was going to be so depressed that I was going to commit suicide. I didn't and I have no intention of doing so. It was another reason to pat myself on the back. I don't want cancer to twist and bend my mind in a way where I feel as if I need to hurt myself to prevent hurting others. Although cancer will take my life, I am beating cancer mentally and that is something to be proud of.

I saw a small figure walking towards me with his head down. The sun reflected off his ginger-brown hair making it appear a bright orange. He looked up and saw me, I waved at him but he didn't return it. I wondered whether he was angry about something. Guess I'll find out soon enough.