My Enemy - M.P

Part 37

My hand was in front of my mouth, blocking out the loud sobbing noises that were coming out. 

I had tried so damn hard not to make a noise when I entered my room and started crying, but after a few seconds, I had failed. It started with a few tears falling, and suddenly they were flowing down, followed by loud noises.

Because my room no longer had a door, I had to at least try to muffle the sobs that were escaping my mouth. My head was pounding, my nose was running, and my throat was closing up. It felt like someone was pressing down my chest, making it hard for me to breathe.

As I was standing in the middle of my room, my hand pressed over my mouth and tears flowing down my face, I didn't hear the footsteps outside my room. I didn't hear someone calling my name, walking into the room, and stopping behind me. 

I didn't even know someone was in my room before a hand was put over mine, removing it from my mouth, letting my sobbing noises fill the silence in the room. The person made their way in front of me. Dark brown eyes met mine, and a pair of hands reached out, cupping my face.

Mattia.

"Hey", he mumbled and stroke his thumbs over the tears on my cheeks. A "don't touch me" was about to leave my mouth, but was drowned in all the sobbing. 

Let him.

Let him comfort you.

"Hey", he repeated, and moved closer to me, resting his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes,  not wanting to see him as I cried, but when I started hyperventilating, my eyes automatically opened back up.

I could see the worry in his eyes as he pulled his forehead away from mine. "Hart, breath. In and out. In and out." It didn't work. My mind was too full to focus on what he was saying. 

His hands left my face, and he grabbed my hands, putting one on his chest, and one on mine. "Follow my breathing". Under my hand, his chest rose and sank, and I tried to match up the movement of my chest with his. 

"That's it, good girl", he gently spoke as he looked at me. The worried look in his eyes had diminished but was still there. We continued like this for another few minutes, staring at each other as we breathed together. When my breathing turned normal again, his grip around my hands loosened, and I pulled my hands back to me. 

Embarrassed by what had just happened, I looked away from him and gathered myself together. I forced myself to stop the tears and started rubbing my hands over my face, wiping away every trace of my breakdown. 

Don't make eye contact with him.

Look at him!

I kept my gaze lowered as I continued to rub my face, still embarrassed by what had happened. He shifted in front of me, and suddenly my hands were brought down by him. "I just helped you, and now you won't even look me in the eyes?", he softly spoke and rubbed his thumbs over the back of my hands.

I looked up, and anger flared in me when I saw the gentle look on his face. 

Why the hell are you getting mad!?

Why was he suddenly caring about me? Why was he suddenly pretending to not hate me?

My body reacted before my mind, and I snatched my hand out of his grip, meeting his eyes as he looked confused at me. 

"Hart"

"Don't you dare pretend to care!", I spit out. "I don't need your false pity, I don't need you to come here and comfort me, and I surely don't need you to pretend like you don't hate me!"

He raised his eyebrows. "Who said I didn't care?" A shaky laugh left my lips and I shook my head. Does he think I'm stupid?

"I know you. I have known you for so many years. Don't you think I know the difference between you genuinely caring and you faking it? Do you think I'm fucking stupid?"

He held the same irritated expression on his face when he answered me back. "You want me to answer that?"

Ouch...

Pursing my lips together, I crossed my arm in front of my chest. "You know what I want you to do? I want you to leave me alone"

Something in his demeanor changed, and the irritated look in his eyes was replaced by something else. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. "Why are you always pushing me away Hart?", he muttered and took a step closer to me. 

I held my ground and maintained eye contact with him. "We're fucking enemies. I'm supposed to push you away. I'm supposed to hate you!"

I noticed too late that I accidentally had let the last sentence slip out of my mouth, and I closed my mouth, hoping that he hadn't noticed it. But of course, he had.

"Supposed to? So you don't? You don't hate me?"

What the hell am I supposed to answer?

"Shut up and get out"

He shook his head. "Give me an answer and I'll leave!"

"Why is the damn answer so precious to you?", I gritted out, resisting the urge to punch him. 

"Cause I fucking want to know!"

If he wants the truth, I'll give him the fucking truth.

"You want an honest answer?", I asked irritated, receiving a nod from him.

Before I could chicken out, I opened my mouth and let the truth out. Let out what I had been holding in for the past three months.

"I don't know! I don't fucking know because you have made me doubt all my decisions. I don't know if I hate you anymore, because three months ago something happened. Something started pushing away the hate for you in my heart, a feeling I have never felt before. It made me change, made me see you from another perspective, made me question why I hated you!"

My blood was boiling. I was furious, so damn furious. And my temper rose when I saw the look on his face.

"But when I changed, you blocked me out. You pushed me away when I didn't want to get pushed. You left me when I needed you. You told me you hated me when I wanted to hear the opposite. When I needed to hear the opposite! That's why I tell myself that I hate you, that I shouldn't act on the dumb feeling that has developed in my heart, that I should push you away! That I should continue hati-"

He didn't let me end my sentence. Instead, he grabbed my face and smashed his lips onto mine.

A.N

Part 37 ✅

I was tired of waiting for them to💋😅

Damn, I kept y'all waiting for 37 chapters :)

Do we consider this story a slow burn? Help a girl out, idk💀  

-R