'till death do we part // sunsun au

34

SUNGHOON'S POV:

That really hurt.

I stood there alone in the alley after that confrontation with Sunoo. I don't know why I was so hurt by it, this was the kind of reaction I expected him to have. I knew it was too good to be true when he didn't even give a second thought about helping me out. But why does it still sting?

The last thing I would want for him to think of me is a monster, someone who doesn't care about anyone and is a cold-blooded killer. But now that's all he thinks. It's all my fault. I never should have let myself be so carried away those other times and I shouldn't have hurt all those people. Now the one person I love is afraid of me.

Seeing the fear in his eyes as he stood there in front of me. It felt like the world came crashing down on me. I punched the wall out of frustration and I felt the blood coming down my hands. As I stared at the red fluid dripping down, all I could think was 'Is he right? Am I just some monster? A killer that should be feared? Have I turned into what I've been trying to avoid all these years?'

I have to make this right somehow. But not now, Sunoo needs his space and I'm going to respect that. I made my way home and cleaned up my bloody knuckles. As I stared out the window, I saw Heeseung walking along the sidewalk. What was he doing here?

I opened the door and he looked up at me with his fist in the air, startled. "Oh. I was just about to knock. Can we talk?"

I opened the door wider and he walked in. I offered him a drink but he refused. We sat down on the couch and it was silent for a few minutes. I still don't know why he's here.

"So-"

"I-" We talked at the same time and I motioned for him to go first. ]

He sighed, "I went over to Sunoo's house to check up on him. He said he was fine but I could tell he had been crying. So I went over here to check up on you too. The police questioned me and Riki the other day. What was that about? Are you okay?"

I tried to hold it in but I couldn't help it. I burst into tears right in front of Heeseung. "So much has been going on lately and it's really overwhelming. It's too complicated to explain right now and I'm sorry if neither of us has talked to you or Riki that much."

Heeseung patted my shoulder as a way of showing his support, "You don't have to tell me now. I can tell you've both been having a tough time. It's okay. I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Hee. Though, I don't know if you'll still feel the same way if you knew who I really was."

He only looked at me confused, but didn't talk. So, I told him. About everything that has happened. I told him the same things I told Sunoo, about Jake, about me and my parents, about Jay and Jungwon. After I'd told the entire thing, he sat there. He looked like he was trying to think of the right thing to say after everything I'd just told him.

"Well, that certainly isn't... great." He finally said after a while.

"I knew it. You think of me the same way Sunoo does. And you're right. I am a monster. So just get as far away from me as you can, before I hurt you too."

"What? No! You're not a monster. You're just someone whose," He thought for a moment for the right word, "Whose been through alot. You've gone through so much pain and you only wanted what's best for Sunoo. You wanted to give him a life that was as happy and easy as you never had. You may not have done everything right, but you had good intentions."

"I mean, yeah. But I still did horrible things."

"To horrible people. But that doesn't excuse all the bad things you did in the past. But that also doesn't define who you are now. What matters is you want to become a better person. And not just for Sunoo. Do it for you. Yeah?"

I thought about what he said and gave him a hug. "I needed to hear that Heeseung. Thank you. It's just that it crushes me every time I see Sunoo hurt. He's always such a happy guy. And when he's sad..."

"It sucks, I know. But that's just how life is. You can't force life to give you all the luck and happy endings. Going through pain and obstacles make us who we are. It may sound cheesy but it's what makes us stronger. What's important is how you deal with what you are given."

I gave him a small smile and nodded. He's right. He checked the time and said goodbye to me. As he went out the door, I realized I had to do better. And I can't just say it, I have to actually do it. I can do this. They're counting on you.

I'll make sure that when Sunoo's finally ready, I'll be a better version of myself.

It's the least I could do to make up for all the bad things I did. 

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i felt like i couldn't just leave the last chapter on that, so here's a small filler :p

hope you guys liked it <3