"I don't know what to do without you,
I don't know where to put my hands,
I've been trying to lay my head down,
I'm writing this at three a.m."
-
"Stop! Please stop!" I yelled as loud as my body would allow, but no matter how much I screamed, I knew no one was coming to help.
I sat curled there on the edge of the stairs watching him hit her.
They had both been screaming at each other for what felt like hours before he had finally had enough. I hated the yelling.
He had her by the arms, shaking her as he shouted.
"You worthless piece of shit!" His words rang through my ears making my whole body shutter.
"Please stop! You're hurting her!" I screamed so loud my throat hurt, but it didn't matter. He wasn't going to stop until he thought she had enough.
She managed to pull herself out of his grasp, but that only made him angrier. He caught her by the hair as she tried to run, throwing her down on the floor, so she hit the hardwoods with a thud. I was violently sobbing, covering my ears so I wouldn't hear her cries.
He was kicking her side over and over again as she laid curled up on the ground trying to shield herself. It made me sick to my stomach to watch.
"Stop! Please stop! You're going to kill her!" I screamed as loud as my body allowed, but it was like he couldn't hear me.
He was kicking her so hard, I was sure there was no way she was going to be able to recover. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something, even if it meant I was going to get hurt.
I stood up, making my way over to him, my stomach tying in knots.
"Dad stop!" I grabbed his arm in hopes of getting his attention.
He stopped kicking her, but before I could do anything else I felt the burning across my cheek from his hand slapping me across the face, making me fall hard to the floor.
I rose from bed startled, gasping harshly for air, a heaviness pressing against my chest. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get enough oxygen.
My eyes traveled around the room quickly, not recognizing my surroundings at first glance, taking a moment to process where I was. I felt the tears forming puddles in my eyes, the same ones that always appeared when I had nightmares.
My body was dripping in sweat, Harry tee shirts a sheets clinging to my body, making me even more uncomfortable.
I threw the covers off of myself, feeling suffocated, needing to let cool air in. My whole body was trembling, and I wrapped my arms around myself in attempts to calm my shaking.
I couldn't seem to catch breath no matter how hard I tried, and I choked feeling like I was drowning in my own body. My heart pounded hard against my chest, making itself very prominent with every rouge beat.
"What's wrong?" Harry's sleepy voice came from behind me, but I could barely hear him through the ringing in my ears.
The world around me became blurred when I panicked. It was like my senses were heightened, but could only focus the fact that my body had somehow turned against me.
My sight was blurred, in part because of the tears, the other reason being sever tunnel vision. My hearing became less than adequate, the ringing only disorienting me further. My lungs ached from my dry heaving in desperation to maintain some sort of controlled breathing.
