"And I can't help myself,
All I ever wanna hear you say is,
Are you mine?"
-
Those few days I spent with Harry after everything that had happened had been quite confusing, although I knew I was probably in shock. He'd been as sweet as possible, and honestly it had been a little weird seeing him be so nice.
I knew it was only because a few days before he had told me killing people was apart of his job description, but hey- I guess I was going to take what I could get.
I knew he probably thought I was literally insane from how I had reacted to him breaking the news, but I just needed time to process everything.
Afterwards I went to breakfast, ate my body weight in bacon, and talked to Harry about the book I was reading at work the day before.
I could tell by the way he was looking at me he was afraid that at any moment I was going to break. Like I was this fragile little thing that was going to shatter any second.
Before I met Harry if someone had told me that was how I would have reacted to my boyfriend telling me he killed people, I sure as shit wouldn't have believed them. I probably would have told them they were crazy. I would have assumed that my reactions would have been profusely crying or maybe screaming and running away, but it wasn't any of those things.
I guess when you start caring for someone, they could do almost anything, and it wouldn't change how you felt about them. Or at least that's how it was with Harry.
I did have a long conversation about what happened with Zayn though. He called me the day after to check up on me, and I ended up rambling for an hour about everything that Harry had said. He just sat and listened.
Normally I would have been talking to Felicity about my boy problems, but seeing as she probably wouldn't have reacted as calmly as I had, I decided to keep it to myself. And you have to add in the fact that she had no idea about Harry's secret life. But when I thought about it, I didn't really know much either.
Zayn actually did hello me a lot, and I got to finally admit the fact that I was sort of upset with Harry. He did kill someone right in front of me, so I had the right to feel however I wanted. Zayn wasn't too happy about it either, and he told me he had talked to Harry, although there wasn't much talking more just yelling.
I was just glad to have someone to talk to, and once I got it all off of my chest, I was fine. It went against everything I stood for, but for some reason I just didn't feel like it was wrong.
Josh had it coming, and I couldn't even bare to think how many other girls he had done the same thing too before me, maybe even worse. The way I saw it Harry prevented him from doing the same thing to hundreds of other girls.
As for the other people he had killed, I couldn't speak on that. I just knew that for some odd reason I trusted him. I just had this gut feeling.
I could tell the subject was hard for him to talk about, and bringing up his sister was a big deal. I knew it was hard for him to be vulnerable.
I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him how it wasn't his fault, and he couldn't have done it on purpose, but he had asked me not to. It took everything in me to hold myself back, but I knew I had to for his sake. I couldn't stand when he was sad. I just wanted to comfort him, but I knew it wasn't the right thing to do in the moment.
So for some reason, my mind justified everything he had confessed. I didn't know why, but it just did. I just had a feeling.
Zayn told me not to come in for a few days after everything, and if I tried to work he was going to drag me out by my ear, if Harry didn't get to me first. So, I was forced to stay in the apartment.
