The Summer Reunion (unedited version)

27| High Ropes

Mr. Clearwater gave me an encouraging thumbs up as I ended the meeting. Travis has managed to bring five friends and although the turnout wasn't as big as I'd hoped, I still had time to change that.

"Job well done Andie," Mr. Clearwater packed up his binder, which was falling apart at the seams, and walked out of the craft room.

There was no designated place for meetings that could fit all the volunteers, so I suggested we meet in the craft room. It worked well enough.

I smoothed my hands on my shorts, thankful the meeting was over. It never occurred to me I would have to talk so much when running the meeting. We spent the time going over the list of tasks needed to be done and when. To my misfortune Travis paired up with me every chance he got, and we were now on the decorating committee together.

The meeting went as well as it could have with how much my mind wandered. My thoughts kept drifting back to the fight I had with Tosh last night. One thing she said couldn't get out of my head.

If you hold grudges against everyone you disagree with, you're never going to have anyone to hold anything against.

I ran through the things said last night and kept telling myself it was the alcohol talking, not her. She was drunk, practically incoherent. I've spent years learning not to take drunken ramblings and slurred confessions to heart. I should forget about what she said, but I couldn't let it go. I was holding a grudge, so what? My feelings were hurt. I was allowed to still be upset. But should I hold on to the past and let it control the future of my relationships? Apart of me, one I've suppressed to my greatest extent, agrees with her.

I wanted to make things right with Grayson without admitting guilt or being honest. I expected him to be the first one to apologize even though I gave him no opportunity to have a real conversation.

What if I'm not ready to be honest? If I tell him then I have to talk about all the things wrong in my life, which I have been actively trying to avoid. I'm like a kid with a messy room, shoving all their clothes into their closet until it gets so full you can't open the doors. If I open them everything will fall out and... be dirty, I don't know. I just don't want to open that door.

Ironically, I opened the door to the craft room and walked outside. Grayson and I were supervising some outdoor activity today, it was the first shift we had together all week. In every one's haste to avoid one another in the cabin we kept switching the schedule around to avoid certain people and Grayson got stuck with me at the last minute.

Bits of sunlight broke through the branches, shining bright beams onto the gravel path I walked. I heard footsteps behind me and turned my head to see Travis hurrying to catch up with me.

"In a hurry?" he teased my fast pace and kept in stride with me.

If only I had walked a little faster...

"Sort of," I shrugged.

I was hoping I could use this walk to prepare myself for seeing Grayson and if I should do anything about what Tosh said. I didn't want to spend my time deflecting questions from a guy I barely know. 

He sensed my tension, "Drew said you guys were having some problems in your cabin?" The sentence was phrased like a question, even though he already knew the answer. 

Obviously, he assumed he wasn't responsible for my rigid demeanor. He was only partly right.

"We've had some disagreements," I said casually, looking up at the trees.

He nodded his head, "I'm a great listener you know."

His tone made him sound more like he was a great gossiper.