The Summer Reunion (unedited version)

29| Bold Of You To Admit That

I walked at a faster pace than normal towards the dining hall. A pit settled in my stomach as I hurried down the trail. This is the first time I'll see where everyone eats, considering we've been making our meals in the cabin. I'm not sure where to sit once I get there. All the other counsellors have been eating in the dining hall for the past three weeks. They probably have seats and groups they sit with, so I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go or who I'm supposed to eat with.

Grayson could be there, but I don't know if he wants me to sit with him. We're supposed to be friends now, but I don't know what that entails. Are we friends like, 'I won't torment you to the point of insanity everyday' or 'you can sit with me in awkward situations.'

Izzie and Drew went on a date in town so they're not an option. And Tosh...we haven't spoken since our fight last night. I mean she was partially right, but she was out of line, nonetheless. Taking care of her reminded me of my mother. Which isn't a good thing. I picture the state of her room, with the stale smell of cheap beer and weed, and cringe. Coming back here I thought my days of picking up prescription bottles and tucking wasted people into bed was over. At least for a little while. Now I'm constantly worrying about what she's doing, if she's alright or whether she needs help. 

Taking on the role of the mom friend is fine, except when that role becomes a permanent fixture in who I am. No one else has to worry because Andie will swoop in and let you shove all your problems onto her. What about me? What am I supposed to do when these problems are too much for me to handle?

On top of all this I still have to organize the next committee meeting, find more people, and make a list of tasks that need to be done before the midsummer ball. Lucky for me there's an actual event coordinator and I'm only in charge of the volunteers to make sure they do all the tasks we're assigned. This job is starting to feel like real work...

I trudged down the path, still ten minutes away from the dining hall. The sun had cooled now that it was dinner time and the temperature was more bearable. Footsteps scurried behind me and I turned around to see Tosh running up to me, panting.

She slowed down when she reached me and placed a hand on her chest. "Shit, you walk fast. I was contemplating turning around and getting the car."

I offer her a small smile and look ahead, not sure what to say. Am I supposed to be the one apologizing? I'm already on a roll here, what's one more? Sure, I was a little harsh. But she deserved it. I need to be on my best behavior for the bonus and there she goes, making us chase her around the course to prevent her from hitting the person giving said bonus.

She noticed my hesitance and a look of guilt crossed her face. "Andie I'm sorry. I know I ruined Izzie's lunch and got you and Grayson in trouble. We were all so bored I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit."

"It's fine Tosh." I let out a breath and looked down at the ground as we walk.

I've had enough heart to heart apologizes for one day. As Tosh said yesterday, I need to stop holding grudges. If she's apologizing, then I'm forgiving.

"When we talked last night I was so hungover, and still a little drunk," she laughed nervously. "I didn't mean what I said, you know...about your mom."

"No, you were right. I've spent a long time worrying about people and holding grudges for the things I worry about. Actually, what you said made me realize I needed to get over myself and apologize to Gray."

Her face lit up in excitement, "You're going to talk to him?"

"I already did. We sorted everything out."