Anime Oneshots!

Self hate⭕️💵

⚠️TW⚠️SELFHARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

950 words

Bringing the blade to his thigh once again, he left a thin slice. Again and again, he repeated the action, similar thoughts running through his mind. Nobody loves me, I'm worthless, I should just kill myself. he moved to his arms after he couldn't see from the sheer amount of blood covering his leg. Each cut representing the amount of self-hate he hoarded in himself.

He wiped the snot dripping down with his arm. The intrusive thoughts just kept entering his mind and he couldn't handle it anymore. A soft thud sounded at the door to his bathroom. He scrambled to cover himself and wipe the tears flooding down his cheeks, but he was fast enough.

Leorio opened the door. "Pika I thought I heard to crying, is everything-" he stopped as he gazed down at the man trying to cover his face. Kurapika was ashamed of himself for letting Leorio see him like this. Leorio walked out of the room and Kurapika sobbed, even more, even Leorio hated him.

Leorio rushed back in with his suitcase. "I'm so sorry Kurapika" his voice cracked tears brimming his eyes. Kurapika shied away. Leorio grabbed a wash clothe and damped it in cold water. "Can I?" he sniffled, but Kurapika didn't move. He couldn't. His breathing grew irregular as his panic covered his entire body.

He shivered even though he wasn't cold. He felt sick. Sick of everything, sick physically, and sick mentally. But the fact that Leorio hadn't run away but came back to help him scared him. How could Leorio come back after seeing him like this?

"Hey Pika, I'm going to wipe you off so we can bandage you okay?" he spoke in an almost whisper, scared if he was any louder the blonde would break. Kurapika yelped as Leorio dabbed the clothe over his legs and arms, crying out in pain. "It's okay, It'll be over soon" he reassured him and soon enough he was getting bandaged.

Kurapika continued to weep. "Do you want to talk about it?" Leorio questioned moving to sit beside him. Leorio's heart shattered seeing him like this. How long had he been hurting? He had scars layered on scars, some were even fading.

"Leorio, I don't deserve to be alive" he muttered. Leorio's eyes began to water again. "Don't say that-", he started but was quickly cut off, "I don't I don't I don't. I should just kill myself, nobody would care. Not one single person. I-I hate myself so much" he screamed, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Oh Kurapika" he held him close. Kurapika cried out in loud sobs, hitting him in the chest. "I hate myself" he repeated, but Leorio continued to embrace him in his arms. "It's going to be okay Kurapika, I promise" he let a few tears drip down his face.

"When? When Leorio? Stop acting like you care. I know you find me disgusting" Leorio let him rant. "Sunshine, you are the most important person to me. Hell, you keep me up at night. I see you in my dreams, every time I see you I feel like spilling onto the floor, I've studied every feature on your face a thousand times, reading every line until my eyes were sore. I see you tangled in my sheets, I love how dense, but quick-witted you are. Kurapika I care for you so much, there's no way I could ever find you disgusting. Not now, not ever" Kurapika listened in silence, but his tears would stop.

Leorio didn't want to give that sudden confession, but if it helped Kurapika at all, to let him know he was loved, he would say it a thousand times over. Kurapika kept replaying his words in his head as his tears were starting to subdue. He didn't bother wiping his flushed face as he finally began to relax in Leorio's embrace.

Who knows how long they had been sitting on that bathroom floor. Leorio yawned, leaning his head against the wall. Kurapika had cried himself exhausted. His eyes were sore and puffy from crying, and his lips were red and swollen. At last, his body was comfortable in Leorio's lap.

Leorio's arms relaxed around him as sleep was taking over him. Yawning again, his eyes fluttered shut.

--

"Kurapika? Leorio?" Gon called out from the front door. "Let's just go in" Killua walked past him and entered the home. They were invited over by Leorio a few days prior. They opened doors and called out their names. "Gon! Come over here" Killua whisper yelled, waving Gon over.

"What?" he caught notice of the whisper. Peeking into the room Killua was in front of, he saw Kurapika and Leorio laying together. "Why are they in here?" Gon questioned about walk in, but Killua held his arm out to stop him.

"Don't bother them," Killua noticed the little blade and blood that littered the ground. "Let's just let them sleep, we can unpack" he mumbled and started to walk away. "Night Night" Gon whispered and hopped away closing the door.

And end~

A/N~ I'M SORRY T^T I JUST WANTED MORE ANGST... sorry. This was a vent chapter of sorts, but I never got the comfort so yeah. Sorryyyyy, but if this has ever happened to you, the self-harm, please talk to someone. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy. I've talked to people, and it's gotten better. I'm actual almost a year self-harm-free! So just know it gets better, I love you and stay healthy. Oh yeah I was listening to helium and heatwaves stripped back!

950 words