AISHA: The Cursed Name

Chapter 14: The Soul Knows It

The Soul Knows It

'The darkness got sorted. Yet, nothing is so clear for me to say that I can see something. I am in the middle of nowhere. What surrounds me is not just unexplainable, but also lacks feelings. There is nothing, no air, warmth, cold, sky, ground, left or right. Just nothing. I am in nothing. All I suddenly see is a faint light. I am not here physically, but in my mind, it's somewhere here. But... What this master organ of my body knows is that I'm supposed to be on a cold rock, sitting and trying to meditate—just that. But then, here I am, probably floating in space. Then suddenly I heard,
"What is it that you want to know?"

Who is it? I don't see anyone. But then I heard a soft voice with low bass and an echoing softness.
"You may order your soul and ask to show you the first sight you saw."

Am I still alive?
And then I pondered upon the words I heard. I didn't say anything there, but I was trying to build up my question to reach an accurate answer.

"So you want to see the first sight your eyes captured?"

I heard a soft and sturdy voice. It was difficult to define whether it was of a man or a woman; it had so much heaviness. It spoke slowly, emphasising each word. Did I want to see it? After hearing about it from my father, I am curious to know who my parents were. But, seeing them, will it be fine? I am blank... And I should be. This is not just a decision; for me, it is far beyond that. Anyone can make this choice easily, but I can't. I don't know what it might show me. Is there some way out of this place, some exit door? I need to get back... Wherever I was, it was way better than this place.

I feel empty and light-weighted as if I have no bones and muscles. No burden on me, but I guess I've lost the capability to make decisions. In my view, all I see is a small source of light. It is very far and very faint.

The faint light came closer, it got brighter and pierced my eyes. I closed them, I blinded myself. Was it the right thing to do? But then I opened them, flash!

I am seeing a blurry sight, there is too much light. But through it, I could see someone sitting. A man is sitting on his knees by a bed.

"Do something!" he shouted. Not to me, not to someone I could see yet. But... His voice did something to me. I don't know, but I feel as if I've been shot by a thousand arrows straight through my heart. Here, in this place, I am, it's not something I've seen before. Not even the man, I've never seen or heard him, but still... All of this envelopes me like... Like fire. I'm burning! I am feeling an undesirable warmth, and it's hurting. Although my surroundings are cold, there is snow and mist and cold winds touching me.

Do I care about him? Who was he, and why is his presence here affecting me?

I could see ladies in white walking around. No, they were running around the room in tension. I was not able to see their manifestation, and their work remained a mystery to me. I was not able to see clearly. My sight was unclear and very bright to be understood. I was standing in a position where I was not visible, and so much were the others to me. I was far, so far and confused that I couldn't even tell if I was north or south of the place. It's sort of weird! I am as if hovering, I see something once from the left and then suddenly from the bottom to the right. Nothing is okay here. Smoke and white fumes were all around, blocking my view even more.