"H-hinx.."
Nang makauwi siya sa bahay nito ay naabutan niyang naroon na ito sa sala. He's in a foul mood.
"You told me that you'll just buy a phone." Mariing saad ng binata, nagpipigil ng galit.
"Y-yes, Hinx. Ito nga, bumili nga ako." Pinakita niya ang cellphone niyang bagong bili.
Mapanuyang ngumisi ang binata at kinalag ang neck tie nito. Hindi pa rin maghiwalay ang kilay nito.
"Excuses. Palusot mo lang 'yan para makita mo ang lalaki mo." Maanghang na anas nito.
Nalaglag ang panga niya sa sinabi nito. Her blood just suddenly boil in much frustration.
"You can hurt me by ignoring me and treat me coldly but never accused me for something that I would never commit! Hinding-hindi ako kailangan man manlalaki!" Bulyaw niya rito.
Hinx remained unbothered on her sudden out burst. He just smirked mockingly instead.
"You know what did the tabloids and trolls says about you and Von? Two old friends meet again, maybe this time it'll be lovin' they'll find. Wow, just great." Palatak nito.
Her brows furrowed and confused on why the is he acting like that.
"Are you jealous?" She blurted out.
"I am not jealous because I am fucking insecure Claudia!" Bulaslas ni Hinx.
She frozed on her foot when she saw his bloodshot eyes. May nagbabantang luha rin sa mata nito.
"I'm fucking okay now, Claudia but when you came back... You..you make me drown in our past again. You..you make me feel the same pain again."
"H-hinx..." Her voice broke upon calling his name.
Naglakad siya para abutin ang binata pero umatras lang ito. Hinayaan na rin nitong tumulo ang luha sa mata nito and it kills her. Nasasaktan siyang nakikitang umiiyak ang binata. It's more painful than what she has been experiencing this past few days. Masakit palang makitang nasasaktan ang mahal mo.
"Very since then, I was fucking insecure. I tried to be the best boyfriend, I tried to prove to anyone that you didn't low your standards for me. You have high standards and I strive so hard to exceed it. Pero hindi pa rin nila makita..."
"H-hinx, no...I-I saw it. N-nakita ko.." She sobbed and fried reaching him but Hinx shook his head.
"Y-you don't understand, Claudia. Hindi mo narinig kung paano ka nila pinag-usapan ng masama. They're calling you dumb for settling someone who has past issues. Palagi kong naririnig na itatapon ka rin naman kita na parang basura, na pinaglaruan lang kita, na pinatulan lang kita para ipakita sa lahat na kaya kong makuha ang lahat ng babae..." Pumiyok ang boses ng binata at nanghihinang napaupo sa sofa.
She wiped her tears but useless when another tears had fallen from her eyes.
"I was so fucking insecure when everyone ships you with Von. We're already an official couple, we're hoping for an eternity together but they'll waiting for us to end."
"N-no...we..we were perfect." Nanghihinang usal niya.
Nag-angat ng tingin si Hinx sa kanya. Pulang-pula ang mata nito at basa na rin ang pisngi.
"Because that's what I want you to feel, that's what I wanted you to see, Claudia, because you deserve a perfect and best relationship."
Mas lalo siyang napaiyak sa narinig. Hinx is too good...too good to be true. Too good that she already thought that she doesn't deserve him.
"I did everything...everything, Claudia. Wala akong alam sa putanginang science but I studied. Pinag-aralan ko 'yun. Umaga, tanghali, gabi. I did it not just because because I want to be with you but I wanna prove to them that I can be also smart as Von, I wanna hear from their mouth na bagay pala ako sayo. Yes I shouldn't care about their fucking opinion pero kung patungkol lang rin 'yun sa 'yo, Claudia, may pake ako. Ganoon kita kamahal..." He sobbed on his palms.
Napatakip siya ng bibig para pigilan ang paghikbi. She was standing infront of him while he was sitting, covering his face as he cried on it.
"H-hinx..."
"But you still choose him. I know you love me, Claudia, and he meant nothing but a friend to you, but you...you have no idea how painful it was when you said that you choose Von over me.."
"I-i'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Hinx.." Hikbi niya.
"'Yung pinaghirapan ko Claudia. 'Yung pinagpuyatan ko, 'yung inaral ko, 'yung mga oras na dapat inilaan ko na lang sa pagsama sa 'yo, sa sarili ko, kaysa sa pag-aral sa science quiz...nasayang lang. That happiness I felt after getting points three times higher compared to Von and Homer, and the proud I felt as they announced the winner, it all turned into nightmare when you declared Von as your partner...Mas higit pa sa insulto 'yun, Claudia. Nakakadurog. Dahil galing mismo sa bibig mo na wala kang tiwala sa kakayahan ko." His voice laced with pain. And it's too unbearable to hear, it's breaking her into pieces.
"No, Hinx! I b-believe in you, I'm so sorry, please. Ikaw rin lang ang iniisip ko ng mga oras na 'yun." She begged his attention to listen to her, but Hinx shook his head and continue speaking.
"I was so down. I felt like I'm the most incapable boyfriend. I don't care if I'm a Benjamin because when I fell in love with you, I never thought highly of myself because I'm a Benjamin, I thought highly of myself because I'm your boyfriend. That's why when you left, I have no reason to look high on myself. Kasi inubos ko lahat ng pagmamahal ko sa 'yo. I did loved you too much that it fucking break me too much, too." Nabasag ang boses nito.
They're both sobbing. Nasasaktan siya sa narinig pero alam niyang mas nasaktan ang binata. Because he's the one who's suffering from that pain.
"Hindi ko alam na 'yun pala ang kapalit sa pagmamahal ko sa 'yo ng sobra. Matindi rin ang sakit. Pero minahal lang naman kita ng todo kasi ayaw kong may pagkukulang ako sa 'yo at baka iwan mo ako. Pero umalis ka pa rin, Claudia...iniwan mo'ko."
"Hinx, I'm sorry..." She sobbed in much pain, she can't even properly breath because of her tears. And she knew sorry wasn't enough. It can't fix a thing. Kasi kung siya ang nasa kalagayan ng binata. Kung siya itong nagmahal ng sobra at biglang naiwan lang? It would break her.
"I failed my course, Claudia. I was a fucking repeater the time you shine for your big achievement. I heard criticism while you heard praises. Pero wala akong karapatang manumbat, 'di ba? Kasi pinili ko naman 'yun pero minsan natanong ko...Where were you when I was at my fucking lowest? Where the fuck are you when I need you the most? I make sure to attends your needs before but how about me, Claudia? Paano naman 'nung ako naman ang nangangailangan sa 'yo?" He sobbed on his palms that makes it too painful to see.
He's crying so loud. Because he's in much pain. Nanginginig ang kamay niyang hinawakan ang mukha nito. She cupped hisbface to make him look at her. Her heart ached upon seeing how red his eyes and nose were.
"H-hinx. I'm sorry.. H-hayaan mo naman kong bumawi sa 'yo ngayon. I..I cannot change the past pero gusto kong bumawi sa hinaharap. I-i can't let you go, Hinx...Mahal pa rin kita." Tears fall from her eyes.
Napapikit ang binata, dinama ang kamy niyang nasa magkabilang pisngi nito.
"I...I can't find forgiveness in my heart anymore, Claudia. I feel nothing for you other than I want revenge. And I can't let you go because I wanna get even."
Napalunok siya at tumango. Tila may kumurot sa dibdib niya sa narinig pero alam niyang nas higit pa doon ang nararamdaman ng binata.
"Kaya kong tiisin, Hinx. Titiisin ko, maghihintay ako kung kailan mo ako matatanggap ulit. Nandito na ako...hinding-hindi na ako aalis."
