****
I raced up the stairs trying to fight myself. I know what’s going to be waiting for me, and I know that I’m going to regret something I’ll most likely say.
But I also know my parents won’t regret saying a single word they're going to say to me, so I choose to regret regretting some things.
I am not my parents. I refuse to do things that resemble them.
They chose to disown me, but I can’t disown them. I can’t forget them. If I do I might make the mistake of being as much as an asshole as them.
I saw Allison and I’s white apartment door. I reached for the handle, and quickly pulled my hand back to my side.
“C’mon. It’s not like if you loved them right?” I thought to myself, “Whatever they say can’t hurt you more than they already have. What are they going to say? That they disown you? A little late for that, don’t you think?”
“Are you going to come in or not?” I heard Allison say through the door.
I stood still as my eyes widened. I looked through the peep hole and was greeted with Allison’s very own peeping eye.
I sighed and reached for the door. I couldn’t turn the knob. Well I could. I just didn’t want to.
The knob turned and I staid frozen outside.
I looked up from the ground and faced my two only fears. My parents.
We staid standing staring at each other until I thought about it all. I can’t become the little girl who believes all their insults. Giving them the satisfaction won’t be any good. I know they might not exactly want me to hate them, or sob in misery by the absence of their support, but they’re not exactly trying to be at least a little compassionate. Even if they don’t agree with my choices they could at least try.
Try to be parents for once in their lives. I’ve pretended to be just as emotionally unattached from them like they are with me for long enough. I can’t pretend anymore.
I’m normal, I want their approval, I wanted that pat on the back after I lost my first soccer game, I wanted them to comfort me and say some fake bullshit like ‘Good try pumpkin, your still a winner!’ I know I wasn’t but it wouldn’t hurt to hear the lie!
Damn fucking shit I wanted my parents!
Instead what I got was nothing but legal papers, disapproving nods, and not a single comforting lie, but rather the cold hard truths of what they thought about me.
“Hey,” I said coldly, “I thought you were in Chicago…”
“We tracked your flight,” said Alexander as if that’s what normal people do every day.
“Okay,” I started, “Not to be rude or anything but- you know what, scratch that, I don’t care if I sound rude,” I corrected, “But what the fuck are you doing here?”
“Watch your mouth young Lady!” gasped my mother, “It’s a miracle you made it out of Chicago alive! You should have been shot with that mouth on you!”
“And you should have been beheaded with your personality.” I countered.
“Ava we’re here about serious business,” interrupted Alexander.
“Of course you are. Your two are all about Business right?” I asked innocently, “You will do anything for business.”
“That was almost two years ago!” complained my mother.
YOU ARE READING
Finding Me (Sequel to Ava,The World, and Niall Horan)
FanfictionYour past doesn't define you, but your choices do. After leaving for nearly six months, Ava has come back London, and picked up her life right were it had left off. At least she thought she did. Your supposed to let go of baggage in six months right...
